Page 58 of Come Home to Me

Frank

After Sarah leaves, I stare at the door like the idiot I am. What in the hell was I thinking? Why in God’s name did I tell her I slept with Bree?

I’ll never forgive myself for the hurt I saw in her eyes. And so, I do penance by standing in a dark apartment, staring at the door. As if she’ll come back. As if she’s right on the other side, just waiting for me to tell her I was lying.

After who knows how long, I pace back into the living room, stepping over the bits and pieces of my life scattered across the floor. The way I see it, I have a few choices. I can call her and explain that I didn’t sleep with Bree, I just told her I did because…

Because why, asshole?

Why in the hell did I say that?

Because I wanted her to leave. Because I didn’t want her to see me like this. Because I don’t have anything to offer her now that I don’t have a job and I thought it’d be better for her if she hated me. Because I didn’t want her to see me fall.

I told her I’d teach her what it means to fly, but I can’t. Not now.

Night falls and still, I do nothing. The poison leeches out of my system and I develop a raging headache. Thunder and lightning pounding against my skull. At some point, I wander into the kitchen and crack open my last bottle of Jameson. With Sarah gone, I’ve officially ruined everything, so I might as well fall all the way down the hole. Maybe in a day or two, I’ll head home to Logan County. My mom or my brothers are sure to need some help. Maybe I can put the pieces of my life back together on the ranch.

But for now, I’ll let myself bleed on the broken bits while I mourn the life I almost had.

* * *

I wake to someone pounding on the front door and my first thought is Sarah. She came back. She didn’t give up on me even after I gave up on myself. And thank God she’s willing to fight for us because I was a fool to try and throw it all away.

The living room swirls around me as I make my drunken way to the door. “I’m coming!” I yell, appalled at how slurred my words are. The smile I didn’t know I was wearing falls from my face when I sees who’s waiting for me outside.

“Holy shit. What in the hell have you done to yourself?” Jason steps over the threshold without waiting to be invited. He takes one look at the mess and shakes his head. “Having a little pity party, are we?”

I shut the door, the happiness fading as the shadows devour the light. “Kinda feel like I earned one.”

Jason shoves his hands in his back pockets. “Sure. Because you were a jerk and sabotaged your career. That definitely earned some self-pity.” He shakes his head and turns away from me.

I’ve had just about all the judgement I can take. “Sabotaged? Man, I’m in no mood for a lecture.”

Jason turns back to me, frowning. “Well, then, you’re shit out of luck because you’re going to get one. Are you really telling me you’re surprised they fired you? After Vi? After Bree? After they told you not to get involved with Sarah and then you flaunted your relationship all over the office like some kind of dickhead?” Jason shakes his head. “You really didn’t see this coming?”

“I really didn’t.” I glare at my friend, doing my best to scare him out of my apartment.

“You’re not invincible.” The words are an accusation. The look in his eyes pointed as all hell.

“I never said I was.”

“Man, don’t bullshit me.” Jason lets out a long breath and stares at his feet. “I guarantee that you thought if anything happened, Sarah would be the one to get fired. Not you. Because you’re Frank Wilde, the great and wonderful platinum certified engineer. Am I right?”

I consider putting up a fight. Telling him I thought Sarah and I were being secretive enough, but that’s a total line of bullshit. I knew I was flaunting our relationship all over the office and I chose not to care because I absolutely did not believe I’d be the one to get fired. “All right. Fine. You’re right.”

Jason stares me down. “That was a dick move, man.”

I hold out my hands. “She wasn’t even going to stay long-term anyway,” I say, still fighting even though Jason’s right. It was a dick move.

“As if that makes it any better…” Jason pauses. Furrows his brow. Peers around the living room as if he’s looking for something. “Where is Sarah anyway? Please tell me you didn’t turn into Drunk Frank and do something stupid.”

I snort and then place a hand on my aching head. Of all the people who abandoned me after I stopped drinking the first time, Jason stuck around. He knows who I am when I drink. He knows it’s not pretty. He knows the destruction I can bring. “I kicked her out.”

Jason’s jaw drops. “Why in the hell would you do something stupid like that?”

I explain everything that’s happened over the last couple days, then go back to the beginning and explain it all from the start. I tell him about paying for Sarah’s car repairs, allude to the problems she’s had with her family without going into too much detail, explain why she had to go back to Ohio, and the way Bree found us the day Sarah got the call from her brother. “It’s all just gone to hell. And then, the day they fired me, Bree shows up here and tries to throw herself at me. I actually had to put hands on her to get her to leave.”

Jason’s eyebrows spring into his hairline.

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