Page 34 of Come Home to Me

“That’s never an easy situation.”

Frank wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “It really isn’t. But Bree took things a few steps past crazy. Made up all these allegations about me making inappropriate comments, all kinds of BS…” Frank widens his eyes. “Thankfully, I’m not the first person she’s had this kind of problem with. McDougan moved her off my team and I make it a point to avoid any and all contact with her.”

I can’t imagine a company keeping someone on the roster if she’s trouble, but what do I know about that kind of stuff? “Are you kidding me? If they keep having this kind of problem with her, why do they keep her around?”

“That, my friend, is a very good question and I’ll be damned if I know the answer.”

The doorbell sounds and Frank jolts off the couch and jogs to the door. While he’s out of the room, I study the pictures on the walls, hoping to find a glimpse into his personal life, a picture of his family or his ranch, and find nothing that isn’t work related.

There are some framed certifications.

Some pictures of him wearing a suit and a hardhat, posing at construction sites.

A few of him beaming with pride in front of finished buildings.

Maybe his work is his personal life…

Frank returns, pizza in hand, and sets the box on the coffee table in front of the couch. We eat there, perched on the edge of the leather, grease running down our hands as we bend over the box. He finishes his first piece and bounds into the kitchen for some napkins.

“Need a drink? I mostly keep bottled water on hand, but I might be able to dredge up a Diet Coke or something.”

“Water would be great, thanks,” I say, even though what I really want is a beer.

Of course Frank doesn’t keep alcohol around. It’d be tempting fate, leaving a giant vulnerability in his one-drink limit if all he had to do was go into the kitchen and grab another.

While he digs in the fridge for two water bottles, I realize how quiet he keeps his apartment. Typically, I’d find the silence unsettling, but tonight, I simply notice the difference between his life and mine. If I was at home, I’d have the TV on. A glass of wine in one hand and my phone in the other. My attention would be split between screens, dulled by alcohol and medication, focused on nothing of importance at all.

Here, the TV stays off.

My mind stays sharp.

How much of my life have I wasted doing nothing more than sitting in a room with my mind numbed? How many experiences like this have I missed? Simple conversations that feel massively important? How much more life is out there, just waiting for me to wake up and see it?

“You okay?” Frank folds the pizza box closed. “You look a little off.”

“Just having a life-changing epiphany so big I can’t wrap my head around it quite yet.”

“Wow. Color me jealous. I love epiphanies. Wanna share?”

“I think, maybe, you’ve already experienced this particular revelation.” I explain my thoughts to him, my words clumsy in their desire to speak a concept into the world that I’m not fully finished understanding. Frank smiles as I speak, nodding his head as I make my points.

“When you sit down and really look at it,” he replies, “life is amazing. When you take away all the distraction and all the time we spend worrying about—” he sits back, breathing in as he holds out his hands “—really, really useless stuff, and just sit still and experience right here and right now in all its simple glory, there is joy to be had. I know a few bottles of water and a pizza doesn’t exactly sound like an experience to celebrate…” He trails off, smiling apologetically. “But it kind of feels that way tonight, doesn’t it?”

I try to remember the last time I felt joy and come up empty-handed. How can there be joy in life when there are bills that can’t be paid and family members you can’t please? Where is the joy in waking up every day to a job you don’t want to go to and dealing with people you don’t even like?

Maybe Frank doesn’t deal with any of those things. Maybe he loves his job and can pay his bills. Maybe there isn’t anyone at work he can’t stand. Maybe his family is perfect.

Except Bree is a thorn in his side.

And he’s mentioned having trouble with his younger brother and not quite fitting in with his father and older brothers. His mother expects him to drive four hours after work just to have dinner and there’s no way he can live up to those expectations. So neither work nor family is perfect for him.

Oblivious to my thoughts, Frank continues. “And people squander their time on stupid TV shows and mindless games on their phone.” Frank gestures to his own television. “I’m not immune. There are nights I turn that thing on and sit here until bed. But it’s a waste and I know it.”

The thoughts and ideas in my head feel like an octopus, unwieldy and squirming, too many pieces to keep track of all at once. I grab on to the one thought that seems clearer than the rest. “I don’t want to waste time with you. I want to experience every single second of it.” A voice in my head whispers about the space separating Ohio and Colorado and I shove it away, desperate to enjoy this moment with Frank without worrying about the future and its uncertainties.

He brushes a strand of hair off my face.

Cups my cheeks.

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