Page 8 of Their End Game

“Why’d you hide her? Why not tell me when you found out?” Radiance and I discussed everything when we were together. Yeah, we had disagreements like any normal relationship, but we kept it a buck, never went to sleep mad, and surely never lied or kept anything from each other.

With tucked lips, Radiance shrugged. “Crazy as it seems, I found out almost right after you left, maybe like a week. The breakup was fresh. I couldn’t process that, along with being pregnant with your child. Then, when I was ready to tell you, I realized you had blocked me, and I couldn’t reach out to anyone.”

Radiance’s reasoning was legit, but at the same time, it wasn’t something as simple as I forgot to pack a shirt or some shit. She’d hid a whole kid from me, and had we not ran intoeach other tonight, she would have gone the remainder of her life not telling me. “You didn’t think for one second the shit was selfish? Just for one moment, step outside of your own shoes and look at it from a different perspective—mine, having a kid I never knew I fathered and her needing me later in life but neither of us knowing about the other. What about Ja’Lani? Despite what people say, every girl needs her father in some way, even if it’s something small. You egocentrically took that from both of us and didn’t think of the lasting results.”

As I spoke, I watched Radiance have a battle with herself and her tears. I could see she was losing with each word I uttered. My intentions weren’t to cause pain but to let her know that no matter how much she thought it was a good idea, it was nothing but pain.

Just as Radiance went to speak, we both heard a cry coming from the other room, prompting us both to look that way. “I have to get her. She probably dropped her pacifier and can’t find it,” Radiance said, already walking down the short hall of the suite.

Standing there, I looked around the suite while listening to Radiance try to soothe Ja’Lani. Whatever she was doing would work, and then, a few seconds later, I’d hear the cries again. I could have stood where I was, but I felt compelled to help. Taking the few steps it took to reach the room, I stopped just as I reached the doorway. Radiance stood, holding Ja’Lani as she swayed from side to side, moving with a little bounce. Ja’Lani seemed calmed, but I noticed that every few seconds, she’d whine, even with her eyes closed, as if she were having a bad dream. Radiance seemed tired.

This was surreal. It was nothing I’d imagine, but standing here, I realized something. Ja’Lani was my daughter. Radiance had done this parent thing alone for more than a year, and she needed me now, even if she wouldn’t admit it. “Ahem.” I cleared my throat, getting Radiance’s attention, and Ja’Lani seeminglylifted her head, looking my way as well. Ja’Lani’s cheeks were marked with tears while her eyes glistened with them preparing to fall. “Lemme help.” I wasn’t asking as I stepped closer to them.

The hesitation in Radiance’s eyes couldn’t go unnoticed if I tried. “Uh, I go—” she started.

“She’s mine too, Radiance.” I cut off her sentence.

Radiance’s brows dipped, her eyes twitched, and her jaw twitched. She so badly wanted to come back with a nasty response. “Umm…” she started, but her words trailed when Ja’Lani extended her arms my way.

Chuckling, I took my daughter from Radiance, though I felt some pull back. “Seems you don’t have a choice.”

The moment Ja’Lani was in my arms, she looked into my eyes, smiling with hers before it was displayed on her face. Her brown eyes lit up. It was like she looked at me in approval. Staring at Ja’Lani, my heart ached. I’d missed her birth, first smile, when she first rolled over, crawled, took her first steps, even missed her first birthday. I’d missed so much. I had to control my emotions when Ja’Lani’s smile dropped into a cute yawn, and her head fell to my chest. Whatever Radiance washed her little curls on her head in invaded my nose, and I found myself kissing the top of her head. It had only been hours since finding out I fathered her, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I loved her already.

“She foughtthat sleep long and hard.” Radiance looked from a sleeping Ja’Lani up to me. “Thank you for that though. I know getting her down wasn’t easy, which is crazy because most times, once I lay her down, she’s out.” She gave an awkward smile.

It was a little after one in the morning, and Ja’Lani had finally given up the fight to go to sleep. Radiance tried to step in and assist while I was rocking her, but I declined. One, I had to learn; two, it was a bonding moment I’d never experienced. “She doesn’t go down without a fight. I can tell you that.” I chuckled.

Radiance smiled widely. “That girl is stubborn for sure. When her mind is made up, it’s very little someone can do to alter her outlook.”

“Sounds like someone I know.” One thing about Radiance, she had her own mind, didn’t follow trends, and when she was convinced or settled on something, it was that and nothing else.

With pressed lips, Radiance nodded. We stood there awkwardly, staring at each other briefly, before Radiance was the one to break the silence. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “It’s late… I have to get up in a few hours. Santia has a fitting for her dress, and as her maid of honor, I have to be there and can’t be late.” She nervously laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it.” I headed for the door with her close behind. Turning just short of the door, Radiance almost ran into my chest but was able to catch herself.

“My bad.” I looked down at her.

“It’s okay.”

“How long are you here?”

“Until Monday. You?”

“Couple of days.”

Radiance nodded but didn’t speak.

“I’m sure you have a busy schedule and all with Santia getting married, but I am hoping that maybe in between or after meetings and the things you have to do, we can spend time together?” I said, but when I noticed the way Radiance’s brows crinkled and her body language shifted, I changed my words. “I want to spend as much time as possible with Ja’Lani while we’re in the same area.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Seeing as though she is already attached, which is funny since she really don’t take to strangers, I think it would be a good idea.”

“I’m not a stranger,” I tossed back. Technically, I was a stranger, but at the same time, I wasn’t. My DNA ran through Ja’Lani’s blood. “Mind putting your number in my phone and we go from there?” I was already handing over my iPhone.

Without hesitation, Radiance put her number in before handing it back my way. When she did, our hands touched, causing us both to glare into each other’s eyes. This was the first time we’d touched in years. Even when I took Ja’Lani from her earlier, we hadn’t touched, but now, sparks seemed to fly. “I um… Have a good night.” She pulled her hand back swiftly.

“Good night, Radiance.” I headed out the room. Radiance and I had broken up what seemed like a lifetime ago, but standing here right now, I knew the feelings I once felt for her hadn’t faded. She and I would never be, but I had to be honest with myself. It would be hard to suppress the feelings I’d long ago buried.

10

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