Page 10 of Their End Game

I wasn’t sure how long I had checked out for, but it was long enough that Santia was now standing in front of me fully dressed in her wedding attire. She was beautiful.

“Girl, your ass better not be about to cry,” Santia said, already fanning her own watery eyes.

I stood, looking to the ceiling, trying to prevent the tears from falling. I didn’t want to be a ball of tears, but I was truly happy for my friend, and she deserved every bit of happiness she was receiving. “I’m sorry.” I swiped the tears that I’d failed to contain.

“Damn it, girl, just wait until the wedding at least.” Santia pushed her tears away before stepping in front of the mirror.

“I am just happy that you have your forever. I can’t think of anyone more deserving than you.” I smiled, staring at herthrough the mirror. “I am grateful to share this journey with you.”

Santia smiled widely, and then it seemed to stop abruptly.

“What?” I was confused on the change.

“I’m not the only one deserving.” She smirked.

My arched brow raised higher than it already was. “What you mean?”

Turning, Santia faced me. “Ja’vari didn’t come back for fun. I feel like it is destiny, and after all this time, you need to get your endgame back.”

Even before Ja’vari reappeared, Santia always hinted at me trying to find him. Most times, I brushed her off because, though he’d forever have my heart, that chapter in my life was over. “You’re crazy.”

“Just as crazy as you still wearing that promise ring,” Santia said in a snarky tone while pointing to the ring I’d never taken off.

“Tsk.” I sucked my teeth. “Girl, this ain’t about me, and you know I have never taken this ring off because it’s damn near embedded into my skin.” I rolled my eyes. At one point while I was pregnant with Ja’Lani, the ring was impossible to take off due to swelling. Now, it was just me not wanting to fully let go. “Plus, I am positive Ja’vari has someone, and lastly, the ship him and I rode in on has long ago sailed.”

Tossing her hair over her shoulder and snickering, Santia faced me. “Be honest with yourself, Radiance. You don’t have to pretend for me, because I know you very well. I know that you have suppressed your feelings for years because you hate the choice you made back then, but stop fooling yourself. You love Ja’vari, and I am sure seeing him last night caused all those old feelings to surface.”

Listening to Santia, I twirled the ring on my finger out of habit. It could come off, and it really should, but I was havingdetachment issues. In my mind, once the ring was removed, so was any part of Ja’vari. So, like Santia said, maybe it was guilt keeping me from taking it off. “I guess,” was my simple, low response to Santia. I wouldn’t admit if she was right, and I wouldn’t keep defending what I wanted to be true. Ja’vari was present now, but the history he and I had was just that… history.

11

Ja’vari:

“Really, Ja’vari? Like, how do you even know the kid is yours? I mean, you’ve been gone for years, and you and your ex conveniently end up at the same hotel? You don’t think that’s weird?” Vanessa questioned with attitude. I’d just told her that Radiance was back, and she had my daughter. From the start of our relationship, Vanessa knew about Radiance, and though they’d never met, I felt she saw Radiance as a threat.

I chuckled. “She’s mine.” Despite the separation and the well-kept secret, there was no doubt in my mind that Ja’Lani was mine. Radiance wasn’t one to sleep around. Plus, Ja’Lani resembled me more than I could admit.

“How the hell do you know?”

Vanessa was in the business of yelling and cursing—two things I tried to avoid when having a discussion. “I know this shit might upset you and seem to come from left field, but you gotta control your anger, Vanessa. I’m not out here cursing and disrespecting you. Hand out the same respect for me.” The tone of my voice never changed.

Glaring my way, Vanessa exhaled deeply. “Ja’vari, just tell me, how am I supposed to respond? I’ve been your girlfriend foralmost a year. From day one, you told me about your ex, and I knew you were never really over her, but I looked past it. Now you telling me we flew more than twelve hours and different time zones for you to tell me that same ex is back with your baby? Wait, a baby you knew nothing about, and you want me to just be okay with that? How the heck am I supposed to react? Tell me that.”

“I’on know.” I shrugged. Honestly, I didn’t have the answer, and I didn’t want to be insensitive, but at the moment, Vanessa’s feelings weren’t my top priority.

We stood in silence briefly before Vanessa spoke again, this time calmer than before. “How do you know the baby belongs to you? Seriously, you don’t think maybe she sees that you’re doing well for yourself, happy with me, and just wanted to return to ruin everything?”

It took a lot for me not to laugh. I’d allowed Vanessa to call herself my girlfriend, when we both knew that wasn’t the case, but when she mentioned us being happy and it being ruined, I almost lost it. “Radiance not even that type of person.”

With pursed lips and a scoff, Vanessa crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, you know so much about her, tell me what type of person she is then, Ja’vari.”

I could have stood there, continuing to go back-and-forth with Vanessa, but the truth was that I didn’t have the energy, and I also felt what was or wasn’t between Radiance and me, concerning our child, Vanessa had nothing to do with. “Out of respect that you and I kick it, I felt you should know that I’d ran into my ex, and she has my child. It wasn’t for a debatable conversation on whether the child was mine or not or even to cause conflict between the two of us. It’s just something I felt you should know now rather than later.”

“We just kicking it now?” she questioned in disbelief. “You still not with that title shit, even after all this time? Fuckingpathetic.” Moments like this was why Vanessa and I could never really be exclusive. She came with a lot of insults, directly and indirectly. Not only that, but she was also pushing thirty, and besides the good job, she was rather immature. “I don’t have the time,” she added, storming away as she cursed under her breath.

Sitting back on the barstool, I pinched the bridge of my nose. It was only day two of this business trip, and it was already more consuming than the last year of my life.

“I seeyou like your mother and don’t play about no food.” I chuckled, handing Ja’Lani another curly fry from my plate. Radiance, Ja’Lani, and I were at Tacos & Rita’s having dinner. After the interaction with Vanessa earlier, I ended up at the bar, and by the time I made it back to the room, Vanessa was gone. She’d left a note saying she’d be back later and for me not to reach out. Since I knew she was still upset, I didn’t bother reaching out to her; I’d give her some time. After sitting in the room, flipping the channels, I reached out to Radiance, and after a short conversation, I asked her to dinner. When Radiance agreed, I was shocked. I was positive she’d decline. “Look at your mother, putting that shit down,” I joked, looking over to Radiance as she demolished her tacos. Radiance had no shame when it came to eating. I used to love it, and Ja’Lani seemed to be like mother, like daughter.

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