Page 4 of Their End Game

“Headed to lunch?” I heard just as I stepped out of the conference room.

I didn’t even need to turn around to know it was Vanessa, but I turned anyway. She was fresh in the office, but shy or introverted, she was not. Even her asking if I was headed to lunch was just to get my attention, as it was obvious I was, since we all went to lunch at the same time. “Yeah.”

Vanessa smiled widely, her gap on display. “Mind if I join you?”

My breakup with Radiance was still fresh. The pain and realization of not having her would take some time to ease. Eventually, I’d move on, but right now, it felt like if I did, I’d be betraying her in some way. Not only that, but a piece of me still had hope that it really wasn’t the end.

“I’m actually not heading out. I’m going to the gym.” I offered a smile, preparing to walk away.

“Dang it.” I halted. Vanessa playfully pouted. “Too bad I didn’t know about your gym run during lunch, or else I would have been prepared.” The pout faded, and her smile was back. “Lunch tomorrow on me.” She wasn’t asking; her tone was letting me know she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Okay.”

“Enjoy your workout, Ja’vari.” Vanessa passed me, touching my arm as she did. I could tell just off her confidence that when Vanessa wanted something, she would be sure to chase it until she got it. I had no plans of entertaining her, but whatever happened would just happen.

5

Radiance:

Sitting in the cold room on the examination table, I waited for the doctor to come inside. Today was my first appointment since finding out I was pregnant, and I was still a ball of emptions, but I had already made up my mind on what I was going to do. Santia wanted to be here for my appointment, but she had an important client she was doing a decorating consult for that she couldn’t miss, though she was prepared to. So, I sat alone and waited patiently, impatiently.

My appointment was set for 10:15, and I’d promptly been brought back, and the clock only read 10:17, yet it felt like hours.Knock, knock, knock.I heard the consecutive knocks, and I expected the door to be pushed open, but it wasn’t. “Come in.” I spoke lowly, and that was when the door was opened.

“Good morning, Ms. Marshall. How are you today?” This beautiful, African American doctor, who appeared to be in her mid-to-late thirties, entered the room with a comforting smile.

“Good morning. I am well.” The lie rolled effortlessly off my tongue. I wasn’t okay mentally, and physically, I was tired, had morning sickness that lasted all day, was hungry, and seriously just wanted to stop being sick every hour.

She gave a comforting smile while washing her hands. “My name is Dr. Winnie Teegar.” I already knew her name, as this was her office, but I thanked her for offering it anyway. “You came in because you had a positive pregnancy test at home?” she asked, tossing the paper towel in the waste bin.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I watched her closely as she sat on the swivel, rolling stool before slowly sliding my way. “So, Ms. Marshall, we have confirmed those results today.” I already knew it to be true, but hearing it confirmed caused a low sigh to leave my full lips. “From your reaction, I am unsure if you want to proceed with the pregnancy or maybe explore your other options. The choice is obviously yours, but depending on what you decide, what may be an option today may not be one tomorrow.”

I knew what Dr. Teegar was saying, and while I appreciated her giving me my options, I already knew what choice I was going with. “I…” I stopped as my voice sounded caught in the back of my throat. “I am going to keep the baby.” I smiled weakly. I’d already aborted a baby once because I wasn’t ready. This time, I had to take responsibility. Ja’vari may not have been present, but either way, what we created was a blessing from God, and I’d treat the situation as such.

Dr. Teegar smiled as if she approved and was grateful I’d decided to bring life into the world. “Great.” She stood, removing her stethoscope, coming my way to examine me. I had time to change my mind if I wanted to, but I wasn’t a kid anymore, and I was ready to tackle whatever life had to offer.

“So,are you going to message Ja’vari?” Santia asked. She and I were sitting outside on the patio at Bonefish Grill. I had not too long ago come from my appointment.

I knew keeping this pregnancy from Ja’vari wouldn’t be right, but I also knew if I told him, he’d say forget his career and come back. He had the right to be a parent, but it would seem as if I was trying to trap him. I was conflicted. Lifting my lemon water, I shrugged. The doctor had prescribed me some Zofran, and it was already working with the morning sickness. “It’s his baby too, Santia. What am I supposed to do?”

Santia shrugged. “I mean, I’m not saying not to tell him, friend. Of course, he deserves and has the right to know, but I am simply asking are you going to tell him.”

“I want to, but you and I both know Ja’vari. Once he finds out I’m pregnant, he will literally drop everything, say forget the opportunity he has, to be a father. It would be me doing the same thing he asked me to do just in reverse.”

Santia lifted her glass full of wine, sipping it. “Technically, that’s not even close to being the same thing. Ja’vari asked you to drop everything for you to be his wife and for him to take care of you while putting you on the back. You would be telling him about the child y’all created together and allowing him the opportunity to decide what he does with it. So, he may say forget his career and come back, but it won’t be because you’re asking him to. Not to mention, not telling him about the baby will be robbing y’all’s child of their father, which in time, even they may resent you.”

As Santia spoke, I thought of the scenarios. As much as I didn’t want to say she was right, she, in fact, was. “Ugh.” I sighed, running my fingers through my tresses. I knew what the ethical thing to do was, but I didn’t want to mess up someone else’s life either.

“Look, Radiance, as your friend, I am going to be real with you. You need to tell Ja’vari about that baby. Let him decide what he wants to do, and you not decide for him. Like I said, it won’t be fair to him if you don’t even give him the chance to be a father.But,also as your friend, whatever choice you decide, I will be right there with you, but I am really hoping you’re the friend I know you to be, and you do the right thing.” She crossed her legs and sipped her wine, indicating she was done with her opinion.

I simply nodded. I got what she was saying, and truthfully, there was no reason for me to respond. I had a decision to make.

Sittingin the middle of the guest bed in Santia’s house, I sat with my laptop open, scrolling Ja’vari’s Facebook page. I was going to message him and ask him to reach out to me so I could tell him about the baby. My plans were to just tell him to call me since he obviously had a new number, but before I sent the message, I went to his page, searching for what, I didn’t know.

Scrolling his page, I noticed he really hadn’t posted since two days of being in South Korea with a picture of him saying, “A Real Has Reached Seoul.” It was corny and funny yet so Ja’vari like. Out of habit, I almost liked the picture but quickly stopped myself. Before going to Messenger, I went to his pictures, expecting to find them flooded with the many pictures of us that had always been there since forever. “Wow.” I cupped my hand over my mouth, seeing that not one picture he had uploaded that involved me was on his page. He’d scrubbed his page clean of me.

“You have got to be kidding me,” I damn near shouted after going to his About Me and seeing he’d already put single in hisbio. Yes, I was the one that had broken up with him, but the reality of moving on so quickly was astonishing. I didn’t even realize I was crying until I felt the saltiness on the corner of my mouth. I pushed the tears away, but it was useless. More continued.

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