Page 1 of Their End Game

1

Radiance:

Summer 2020

“Baby, please. I am begging you to just come with me.” My longtime boyfriend, Ja’vari, stood in the middle of the floor of our hotel, in front of me, pleading with teary eyes.

Ja’vari and I had dated off and on since we were fourteen and fifteen. We were now twenty-six and twenty-seven. Viciously shaking my head, I parted my lips to speak with tears of my own threatening to fall. “I can’t.” My voice was shaky.

Ja’vari had recently been offered a position in Korea for a Fortune 500 company as a software developer. The job was a once in a lifetime opportunity and would open many big doors for him. It was a dream come true. I wanted it for him, even wished I could go, but me going would mean I was putting me second. I had goals and dreams, and going with Ja’vari would mean I couldn’t accomplish them. I saw where too many people placed their partner’s needs above their own and regretted it and envied them later. I didn’t want to be that person.

“Baby, I love you. If you love me, you’d come with me. You’re my past, my now, my future. I need you by my side.” He couldn’t hold the tears any longer.

My heart shattered, hearing his voice crack and the tears run like heavy rainfall, but no matter what, I couldn’t change my mind. “I love you so much.” My own tears now fell freely down my face. “But I can’t go with you. Going with you would mean I would have neglected me, and I have to love me first.”

Ja’vari stepped closer to me, closing the barely there gap between us, forcing me to have to look up even further than I already was. Swathing his strong, soft hands on the back of my neck, he leaned down, pressing his lips against mine. Instinctively, my small hands found his forearms, gripping them as our lips parted in sync. When Ja’vari slipped his sweet tasting tongue in my mouth, I whimpered before our tongues danced to a slow beat that only we knew. Pulling back, Ja’vari glared into my soft, doe-shaped brown eyes with no words. My breathing increased as I stared in his eyes, and my knees felt weak.

“If you can’t go with me, this can’t work. We’ve tried this long-distance thing before, and it almost broke us for good.” Since Ja’vari and I went to colleges on opposite sides of the continent, we had to be separated. He was right. It did almost break us.

He looked as if I had reached into his chest, snatched his heart out, tossed it on the ground, and stomped on it. If I didn’t already know that he was hurt, his expression told it all now. I hated that he was hurt, but I, too, was hurt. Ja’vari was the love of my life. “Goodbye, Radiance.” Ja’vari spoke somberly. He never said my name. I was always baby, so I knew he meant it.

I gasped, cupping my hand over my mouth. He meant it, and we weren’t going to come back from his words, the calling me Radiance, the seriousness in his eyes, and the tone of his voice. That kiss that damn near knocked me off my feet, that was his way of saying goodbye. It would be our last kiss.

Now it felt like he had snatched my heart out of my chest and crumbled it in his hands. Ja’vari turned, walking towardthe door, his footsteps seeming louder than they were since he was damn near shuffling his feet. Reaching the door, he leaned down, grabbing his packed bag as he would be leaving for Korea tomorrow. I wanted to stop him. I wanted to say, “I lied, I will follow you anywhere in the world.” I just couldn’t move or speak. When he stood back to his full height of six feet, four inches, he paused as if he would turn around. However, his shoulders dropped, and a sniffle slipped.

Turn around. Turn around, please, I thought. I even wanted to say it, but it just didn’t happen. After pulling open the door, Ja’vari stepped over the threshold of the hotel room, the door slowly closing behind him. The moment the door latched together, I fell to my knees, crying a river of tears. The love of my life was gone.

2

Javari:

With my hands pressed firmly on the tiled shower wall, my tears effortlessly ran down my face, mixing in with the hot water while I hung my head low. I had already cleansed my body but didn’t have the strength to get out. Aside from when I was a kid, I had only cried one other time than tonight, and that was when I lost my brother to gun violence. Tonight, however, I felt like I’d died inside. Radiance may not have been my only thing, but since I was fifteen years old, she had been my everything. I knew I was probably being selfish by asking her to come with me when she, too, was out here working her dream job as a psychologist, but I wanted her. I couldn’t have the best of both worlds, and Radiance had chosen for us.

Feeling the water had turned cold, I twisted the handle before grabbing my towel that was draped over the top of the glass shower door. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I stepped out the shower after opening the door. Swiping my hand across the wide mirror, I rid it of the condensation and just stared back at my reflection. Defeat was the cloak over my features. Tomorrow was huge for me, but it wasn’t something I could be excited for without my best friend beside me. The painwas evident, but I couldn’t keep feeling sorry for myself; the damage had already been done. I allowed the last tears to slip before I roughly ran my hand over my face, wiping any tears that had fallen. Even with the hurt, there wouldn’t be any more tears.

After handling the remainder of my hygiene, I stepped out the bathroom, ambling to the side of the bed, dropping back on the side of it. I’d said I was letting it go, but it was already hard to do. Radiance had been my only real girlfriend, and even through the breakups, she was still around, so I had to try just one more time.

Me:Baby, I know this might come off as selfish, but being honest, when it comes to you, I am selfish. You’re my world, and honestly, I don’t want to know what life is without you. Baby, please come with me, and we can figure everything out later. We can make your dream come true while mines is a reality. We both can do this together. I love you. Just say you’ll come with me.

Reading the message multiple times, I pondered on not sending it, adding more to it, or just simply sending it. “Fuck it,” I mumbled, pressing the button for the message to send. Whenever I would text Radiance, if she was free, she would read and respond right away. Per usual, I saw that she had read my message; only this time, the three bubbles that would pop up never happened. Yeah, it was officially over.

“Son,have you called her, to at least try one more time?” my pops asked as he, my mother, and I stood in the middle of the airport. Today was moving day, and I hadn’t spoken to Radiance since I walked out that day. I wanted to reach out, but I felt doing so would make things worse than they already were.

“Pops, she made her choice, and I am making mine.”

“Are you sure it’s the right thing? You and Radiance have been together since forever. I think you two just need some time, and it will be okay. She is supposed to be my daughter-in-law,” my mother said, reaching out, touching my arm.

“Yeah, we just need the time.” I didn’t want to continue with the back-and-forth when I knew neither of my parents would understand me not wanting to reach out again.

“We love you, Son,” my mother said, wrapping her arms around me.

“I love you too.” I was embarking on one of the biggest chapters in my life, and I thought Radiance would be by my side, but it was clear that our lives were on two different paths. “I’ve gotta go before I miss my flight.”

My mother held me tighter. I knew it was hard for me to leave her once again. The last time was college, and she damn near lost her mind. “You go and do great things, Son.”

“Come on, Ma, none of that.” I noticed her tears.

She finally released me, and that was when my father hugged me, although his hug was not nearly as long as my mother’s. “Continue to make us proud,” he said.

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