Page 75 of For a Price

“It will not be like this forever,” he says. “When it is safe to do so, you will have more freedoms. But for now… this is what’s safest.”

“You know,” I say slowly, sneaking a glance up at him. “You’re the first person to ever want to do that for me.”

“Do what, devochka?”

“Protect me. No one has ever…” I clear my throat like I have a piece of cake lodged in my windpipe when really it’s the emotion welling up. I try again, adding a small smile to offset any sadness that cracks through. “Comes with being an orphan. Nobody cares about kids with no family. But why should they? We belong to no one… so we decide to look out for each other.”

“Do you ever think about what it would’ve been like otherwise? If your family had not died?”

It’s a question no one’s ever asked me before but that I’ve wondered a million times in my head. Giving a shrug, I set down my fork on the plate of cake. “I’d like to think I wouldn’t be some street criminal. I would’ve made something of myself. Maybe be a teacher… or something.”

“You have made something of yourself.”

“Hmmm?”

He fingers another curl, then cups my cheek. “You have made something of yourself, devochka. You’ve managed to survive on your own from the time you were a young girl. Most people would not be able to. You’re a survivor and you should be proud of that.”

His words fill me up with warmth the same way his touch does. My eyes close at the feel of his hand stroking my cheek and I let myself bask in the moment for what it is.

Another human being who seems to understand me better than anyone I’ve ever met.

The same man who just got down making my body thrum with orgasmic pleasure; the same man who’s let me stay in his penthouse so that he can protect me from a mess I got myself into.

One question emerges.

What have I done to deserve this?

And how do I handle this when I’m used to being a stray on my own?

A shaky breath rattles out of me. “Roman, I don’t know how… you… you’re a lot.”

His thick brows lift. “A lot… what? Explain.”

“You’re intense. In more ways than one. It can be overwhelming,” I mumble. I place the plate of cake on the nightstand and then flop backward onto the pillows, staring up at him with an earnest expression on my face. “I’m sure it’s become pretty obvious by now that… I’m not really experienced.”

“As in?”

“When you spend most of your life in survival mode, you don’t have a lot of time for luxuries. I’d consider dating and relationships to be in that category. Most of the guys I’ve been with have been nothing. Just casual hookups.”

…and you also made me come. Something no other guy has ever managed.

“Who were these men you were doing these hook ups with?”

I snicker. “It’s cute when your Russianness comes through. ‘Do these hook ups’ isn’t really an American term, Zver. We just call them hookups.”

“I don’t like that word,” he says, scowling. “It sounds like a fish on a hook. Who were these men?”

“Just guys I met around. Maybe at a party or in the underground circles I was in. JC and a couple others.”

His scowl deepens. “You slept with JC? The same one who left you in the apartment?”

“You broke his jaw and he had to go to the ER, but yeah… that JC. I never said I had good taste. Just that you overwhelm me.”

“No wonder you are so shy. Is that it, kitty cat?”

“What about you? Any ex-girlfriends I should know about?” I ask instead. “Any who happen to be named Polina?”

He grunts out a laugh and then thumbs my cheek. “You seem convinced there is something between me and Polina.”