Page 44 of Hollyhocks

“Hi,” I croak out. “I’m fine. I dislike storms. That’s all. They aren’t attached to good memories.” I wrap my arms around myself, forgetting about the murderous rage. It’s still there but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. “You risked your life to come check on me?” That’s so sweet. He could have drowned in this rain waiting for me to answer the door.

He rubs the water off his face. “I wouldn’t say I risked my life. It’s only water, but if you want to ride out the storm together? We can. My day got derailed and I could use a friendly face right now.”

I know all about the horrible day he is having. “Oh? What happened? Are you alright?”

He adjusts his stance, his boots splashing the water pooling beneath him. “Want to talk about it over hot chocolate or wine? I can make us dinner or dessert. Maybe we can put on a movie.”

I fight a smile, twirling my hair around my finger like a lovesick girl.

I suppose I am.

I am so lovesick, the only cure for it would be for me to stop existing. I don’t mean death because I’d haunt him, or I’d try to come back to life like I did this time. No, I’d need to die in purgatory for my obsession with Fitz to cease to exist.

“Is this a date?”

A crooked grin takes over his face. His lashes are small spikes from being wet from the rain and they fan over his cheeks as he glances down, blushing.

“Well, I guess it is. No pressure though. You don’t like storms, and I need a friend. You were who I thought to come to first. I’d like to get to know you better.”

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to control my disguise for that long but I’ll try. I refuse to miss time with Fitz.

“I’d love to. I need an umbrella. Do you have one?” I can’t get wet or he will see who I really am.

“I do. Let me run and grab it from the truck.”

“I know, it’s silly. I’m not afraid of getting wet. The storm, the rain, it all just—”

He steps closer, pinching my chin with his thumb and index finger. I hold my breath, wondering if he is really this close to me, touching me, staring directly into my eyes.

“It isn’t silly if it makes you feel safe.” His thumb rubs over my chin, the rough skin of the callouses leaving a slight scrape behind with every sweep the pad of his finger gives. “Would me getting the umbrella make you feel safe?”

I swallow, realizing I’m nervous. My entire body feels flustered and hot. I’m not sure if I can continue to look him in the eyes. I might combust. Those long lashes blink just before his eyes hood, a sultry heat blowing the pupils.

He looks from my eyes to my lips back to my eyes only to drop to my mouth again. The tip of Fitz’s tongue licks his bottom lip before he inhales a deep breath and takes a step back to put space between us.

“Give me a minute. I’ll be right back with the umbrella.” He never takes his gaze off of me as he slowly walks backward.

My mate chooses to step out in the rain rather than remain dry under the awning. Rain pours, soaking him in seconds.

“Don’t move,” he warns, taking another step.

I wrap my arms tighter around myself and smile. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good. I’d hate to have to track you down when this is the best part of my day,” he says, giving me that crooked shy grin I’m obsessed with.

He turns his hat around, the rain dripping from the bill. Tucking his head, he runs next door to his house, jumping over the step leading to his front door. I can’t see him anymore which leaves me alone outside in the storm.

I jump when thunder shakes the ground. My heart forgets the calm and chooses to beat at a pace only caused by anxiety. I lean against my door, close my eyes, and hold a hand to my chest.

The wind howls like a wild lone wolf in a snow-covered field. Regardless of how good the gusts feel against the heat of my skin, it doesn’t tame the fear controlling my body. I’m frozen in place. This is unlike me. I have no reason to fear storms anymore now that I’m free.

The doctors can’t hurt me anymore. I’m stronger than they could have ever been. I’m stronger than most of society.

Is this my punishment for my lack of humanity when it comes to claiming Fitz? Maybe.

I’ll happily take this punishment. Fitz is more important than my fear. I’ll battle anxiety every day and deal with storms if it means I get to have him. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to make him mine even if it means living in his subconscious for the rest of my life.

I don’t hear the heavy splash of boots because of my own blood rushing through my head. The whoosh of the umbrella opening has me opening my eyes to see Fitz standing directly in front of me, drenched.

---