Page 11 of Not Catching Love

I drop my forehead into my hand. “Can I fire you yet?”

“Thankfully, you’re not my boss. Blow out the candles and make a wish, grandpa.”

“Original.” But I do it because I might be a whole decade older than Constantine, but I still know how to be a good sport. As for the wish? I don’t know where to start. But even as I think that, Xander flits through my mind.

Fuck.

I wish he’d fight for himself.

Maybe it’s a waste of a birthday wish, but it is what it is.

Even if it means never seeing him again, I’d be happy to know he’s not at the mercy of his anxiety, and while no one ever asked me to be, I’d kind of like to not be at the mercy of it as well.

“What did you wish for?” Constantine asks, helping himself to a large chunk of the rich mud cake.

“Nothing specific.”

He gives me a pointed look. “Lemme guess, it has something to do with an X.”

“Fuck off.”

“That’s confirmation.” He shoves a big bite into his mouth and keeps talking. “You’ve put your whole life on hold to be around if he needs you. Don’t think none of us have noticed.”

“Don’t know what you mean.”

“You moved a block from the pharmacy. We’re not idiots.”

“You sure about that?” I point my fork at him. “You’re spraying food everywhere.”

“I’m enthusiastic.”

“You’re an animal.” I’m also exaggerating, as gross as it is to watch him talk with his mouth full. Anything to get peopleoff the topic of Xander, who already takes up too much space in my life as it is. I’m pathetic, and I’m wasting the best years of my life, but I can’tnotdo it. He needs me, and I’m full of stupid conflicty feelings over being happy whenever I get to see him and knowing that I’m only getting to see him because he’s sick. Which makes me a selfish bastard.

Reason number one for why a nurse shouldn’t fall for his patient.

And reason number one for why I’m not supposed to think of him unless he’s right in front of me.

“Still going out?” Thankfully, Constantine has remembered to swallow this time.

“Sure. Why not?”

“Not drinking though, are you?”

I hum noncommittally. “We’ll see.”

He snickers into his next bite. “Uh-huh. Sure.”

As the only two openly gay men at the pharmacy, we hit it off fast. It’s a large chain store that’s open round the clock, and statistically, there have to be more queer people working there, buthe’sthe one I’m stuck with.

As much as I might give him hell, and he teases me about being ancient, I’m glad to have him. Fuck knows without Constantine in my life, I’d be even more engrossed in my bugs than I already am. He reminds me to leave the house.

“It’s been about three months since I got laid,” he continues, like we’re not in the middle of a busy dining room. “This work schedule is bullshit.”

“That’s where saving for a house will get you.”

“My point is, don’t you dare stand me up. I need this, big D.”

“That’s a no on that nickname, but I will definitely be there.”

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