Page 92 of Just Bromantically Invested

It’s like the ground has shifted. “Ah … isn’t that what we talked about?”

“When?”

“When you said you wanted to move in but you were worried about spending more time with me because of your feelings. But I know and you know and …” My words trail off as a very unsettling thought drifts over me. “You don’t want to.”

“I …” He tugs his blond hair. “It’s new and …”

“It’s not new at all.”

“We’ve only just started seeing each other.”

“We’re boyfriends. This has been coming on for a while.”

Madden’s gorgeous eyes have gone all wide. “I love you.”

That doesn’t help clear things up at all. “Then … I don’t understand.”

He steps closer, and I let him take my hands. “I want to.”

“Okay …”

“But I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Oh.”

Those familiar feelings of being replaced, of not being good enough, try to take over me. Madden’s putting them first. He cares about them more than me.

Before I can start to spiral, I take a long, deep breath. “Okay.”

He blinks at me in surprise. “Really? You’re not upset?”

“Well, I am, but that’s not a reason for why you should move in. Can I ask why?”

“I’m scared,” he croaks.

“You’re what?”

“Everything is so good with you, and I’m scared about changing too much. I’m worried about forcing this on you too fast, and I love that I’ve found a family with those guys. You’re my everything, and they’re my everything else. At least for right now, I need both of those things in my life.”

Hearing that this is for Madden, that it’s what he needs, somehow makes it so much easier. “You need me?”

“Always.”

“Suddenly, I’m not so upset anymore.”

“Really?”

I swallow back empty words and go with the truth. “I think my default will always be to worry that I’m going to lose you. But if you’re doing this for us so that doesn’t happen, it makes it easier to wrap my head around.”

He lets out a long breath of relief before kissing me. “Thank fuck.”

There’s a knock at the door before we can take the kiss further than sweet.

“I’ll grab it.”

Rush and his boyfriend, Hunter, are here first, and just as I’m about to close the door, Lana’s voice stops me.

“We’re coming, Penny!”

---