Page 64 of Just Bromantically Invested

It’s not often that Madden looks this serious. “That’s a lot of pressure for us. I already know where my head is at, but if you changed your mind, I don’t know how I’d move on from that. It would kill me.”

“Then I have to not change my mind.”

There’s still hesitance in his eyes, and it’s so rare for him. Madden doesn’t stop to think, he just does, so this must mean a lot to him. “You need to have the freedom to be able to do that though. We both do.”

“I thought you said you know what you want?”

“I do. I know it’s hard for you to understand where I’m coming from, but this is a lot all at once. My instinct is to immediately jump into dating you like we’ve been together for years, but I’m scared to change too much too quickly.”

I’m not sure why Madden is scared when I’m ready to give him everything, but I need to try and understand. So I nod, trying to work out how labeling ourselves as boyfriends is “too much,” but label or not, I want to be with him.

Then, I get a sickening type of realization. If he doesn’t want to make this official, is it because he wants to keep sleeping with other people? It’s been a while since I’ve heard about Madden hooking up or dating people, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because he tells his roommates that kind of thing instead. They’re all queer, and this isn’t the first time I’ve been curious if he shares that side of himself with them over me.

It’s one of the reasons I get so uncomfortable going over there. Because in that house, I have to confront the fact they can give him things I can’t.

Well, not anymore.

If Madden really has wanted me since high school, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he remembers that. I’ll stick by him, I’ll give him everything he needs until he works whatever he has to out of his system and is ready to commit. Whether it’s doubts, or fear, or other people, I’ll be here waiting.

The thought of him with someone else makes me blind with fucking rage though.

Still, I’m not going to change too much. Not too quickly. That will be a conversation, very fucking soon, but for now, I need Madden to know I’m sure.

And then prove it to him.

Hopefully, once he sees that I’m not going to run scared, it’ll help him relax into this idea of boyfriends.

With any luck, by then, I’ll have more answers too.

This is a long game.

One I’m going to win.

Chapter 23

Madden

I’ve barely stepped out of Penn’s apartment when the group chat starts going off.

Taco hunt, now!

Let’s gooooo!

We’ve got it this time.

Team Bertha rides at whatever time this is past dawn!

I smother my laugh and will the elevator to move faster. The Tac’obout Tacos truck we love does this once a month usually, and it’s a rare day that we’re all around to drop what we’re doing and go for it. Today looks like one of those days, and it’s the perfect boost I need after a perfect morning with Penn.

I’m still struggling to believe last night happened, and even if we don’t find this damn taco truck first, I’ll probably buy everyone’s order anyway, I’m in such a good mood. I mean,fuck. I had Penn’s cock in my mouth last night, and this time, it wasn’t a dream.

The elevator doors slide open, and I jog for my car in the parking lot. It’s still early, but it’s already looking to be a great day. The sky is crystal blue, the clouds are wispy and hugging the horizon, and when my truck engine roars to life and I remember that I don’t have a job on today, my brain just keeps getting smilier.

I text the others that I’m on the hunt, then head out of the parking lot. Seven was halfway to work when the taco truck’s “come find me” post went up, Rush, Molly, and Xander are all leaving the house, and Christian and Émile are on their way from Maple Park.

The whole fucking gang. Incredible.

I steer clear of looking anywhere near where the taco truck has been before, and as I drive around, I keep one eye on my phone. It doesn’t usually go into downtown Seattle, so I keep my search around GPD, but after an hour, I have a good feeling we’ve missed the chance to find it.

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