Page 45 of Just Bromantically Invested

I need to remind myself not to get my hopes up.

Chapter 16

Penn

I’m expecting Madden to rush off back home, but once he pulls up in the parking lot at my place, he turns off his car and climbs out.

“You coming up?”

He hesitates, still holding the door handle. “Is that … if you have plans, I can go.”

“What? No.” I hate that we still have this level of awkwardness between us. I also hate that I hope he stays so we can go upstairs and get naked and I can pretend like I’m not shamelessly ogling him, and he can do his best to ignore the inevitable boner situation that pops up between us.

I’m trying to control it. Sort of. Okay, no, that’s a lie. The thing is, it’s been a long time since I was with anyone, since I felt that stir of wanting something more, and with Madden, it’s more than that. I’m so used to physical closeness between us,and I’ve been missing it lately. I know I could leave my clothes on and probably initiate something, but the craving I have for affection from him is getting so strong—as is the need to feel his skin against mine.

Madden doesn’t look convinced.

“Come on, dude. I know you’re itching to get those shorts off.”

That gets him. Madden follows me inside, and we take the elevator up to my floor. I consider inviting Lana over so they can have time to get to know each other, but since Madden still thinks we’re dating and Lana knows my little secret about Madden, the best thing I can do is keep them as far from each other as possible.

Especially since my little secret about Madden isn’t so little.

I’m being open to it. It’s taken me some time to wrap my head around the possibility that I’m actually attracted to him, but the fact he can get me hard every time he’s around is indisputable evidence.

The next step is trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to do about it.

My heartbeat is getting louder the closer we get to my apartment. Madden’s hair is loose, blond waves around his jaw, easy confidence carrying him toward my place, and I’m coming to terms with how in tune with him I am.

This is making my head spin.

I’ve always been in tune with him, always taken comfort in his presence. Was that more than the best friends I thought it was?

And what the fuck happens if I make a move and he’s not interested?

Fuck me.

I get my apartment unlocked and beeline straight for the kitchen. There’s a ninety-nine percent chance that he’s gettingnaked right now, but I ignore whatever is happening behind me and pull out a bottle of vodka. I don’t bother with the Coke that I only buy for him anyway and drink directly from the bottle.

I choke the burning liquid down, then go for another as a large hand appears in front of my face and pulls the bottle from my grip.

“What’s all this?” Madden leans a heavy shoulder against the fridge, shirtless but still in his gym shorts. He holds my gaze as he takes a sip, and then his face screws up. “Shit. I thought maybe you smuggled water in here. Why are we drinking?”

“I’mdrinking.”

“Yeah, butwhy?”

I sweep my eyes over him again, taking in his chest, his abs, the way his nipples are round and pink, and my mouth goes dry. The burn of the vodka is still on my tongue when I reach out and set two fingers on his chest.

“Penn?” He sounds close to laughter.

He probably should be. What the fuck am I even doing? Whatever it is, I’m doing it, and I just stand there and watch as my fingers slip between his pecs and continue down until they reach his abs.

“Penn?” The amusement is gone now. Mine is too. I’m struggling to remember how to breathe, and the longer I stand here, the longer I keep contact, the more blood rushes to my cock. I’m fucking terrified over what I’m doing, but even though I beg my hand to behave itself, it refuses to listen.

I swallow roughly and drag my eyes up to his. I’m not expecting what I see.

Madden’s looking at me in a way he’s never looked at me before. His pupils are blown out, his jaw is tense, and his chest is moving faster than normal.

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