Page 33 of Just Bromantically Invested

And she is. Big-time. Because if I’m dating her, then I’m not dating one of the faceless women from Madden’slist. Way to make me feel like I’m in an episode ofThe Bachelor.

Only I’m not rich, I’m not handsome, and I definitely don’t have a multimillion-dollar mansion to whisk someone away to.

It’s just me. Holding the hand of a lesbian on one side and a gay man on the other, stuck between the two of them, who are waiting for me to give clarity to a situation that’s muddy as fuck.

Madden’s blue eyes flick up to meet mine. “You didn’t tell me.”

Urg, right to the heart. Keeping secrets from Madden is impossible, and he knows I never could, but at the same time, Lana’s giving me a cover. Even if we only pretend for a week or so, it’ll give me time to work out if I’m interested in these dates Madden’s sprung on me or not.

I step closer to Lana, dropping Madden’s hand. “We only just …” What’s the word people use? Agreed? Sounds contractual. Committed? Way too serious for where we’re at.

“Decided to see where this goes,” Lana finishes seamlessly. “Oh. Look. We’re already finishing each other’s sentences. That’s cute.”

“So cute.”

“Yeah.” Madden’s smile is strained. “Cute.”

“But now that you know,I’mgoing to head off and leave you two to … best friend stuff. Have fun, boys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do and all that.”

“How would I know what you wouldn’t do when I don’t even know you?” Madden’s response catches me by surprise.

“Ah, I’ll walk you out,” I tell Lana, jabbing her in the back to move faster. As soon as we’re in the hall and I’ve closed the door behind us, I mime screaming into my hand.

“What have I done?”

“Relax.” Her dimples are out in force. “We’ll pretend to date for a few weeks and break up. I’ll tell him you turned me gay.”

I glare at her. “Isn’t that a harmful stereotype?”

“Considering how uptight you are, I think he’ll believe me.”

I let the comment go. “I hate lying to him.”

“I figured, but you also looked like you were going to pass out in there. He’s … pushy.”

“He’s not.”

“Hewas.”

She’s right. I lean back against the wall. “He’s not normally like that.”

“You also said he’s not normally rude and doesn’t usually stalk you, but he was rude to me again, and I’d bet my phone he has his ear pressed to the door.”

I swing around to look at it, hoping like fucking hell she’s wrong. “He’s just … off his game. At the moment. It’s not his fault our relationship”—I use air quotes—“caught him by surprise.”

“He was rude to me before that.”

“You were also screaming at him for being naked.”

Lana laughs. “Oh, the memories.”

“Good times,” I respond dryly.

“It’s great of you to be so loyal, but I’m sorry. Madden is either a rude bastard, or he’s totally into you and all this weirdness is straight-up jealousy.”

“You don’t understand. We’re really close.”

“The man isnakedin your apartment right now. There’s a very easy way for you to figure out which of us is right.”

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