Page 23 of Just Bromantically Invested

“What did you talk about?” he asks.

“Her family. Where she grew up. Her cat. You.”

“Me?”

I laugh and give him a gentle nudge. “Of course you. Why is that surprising?”

“Because you’re trying to impress her. You’re supposed to be talking about yourself.”

“I’m not trying to impress anyone,” I grumble. “And I did talk about myself. You’re a big part of who I am.”

Madden watches the footpath as we walk, then suddenly breaks into a wide smile. “I like that. You’re a big part of who I am too.”

“I know that already.” But it’s still nice to hear. I’ve been getting anxious about our friendship lately for no good reason. Things are shifting, and he has his own life, but we’ve always been there for each other, and we always will be.

One day, I’ll be old, and my kids will be grown up, and I’ll be able to look over and find him still right by my side. Probably with kids of his own.

Fuck it. We reach the building, and before Madden can turn toward the parking lot, I grab his T-shirt and tug him intoa hug. He always feels so big and solid, and his arms immediately pull me closer. Our hugs are the best hugs. The ones that you can sink into and feel like you’re safe.

He’s the first to pull away. “Gotta get to the site. You’ve got that meeting today, don’t you?”

“Across town? Yep. It’s just an initial conversation, but we were highly recommended to her by a friend.” Those are usually the easier customers to book because they’ve already got that initial trust.

“You’ve got this.”

I fucking hope I do. As the person who’s first to meet potential clients, I’m always terrified I’ll mess up. This business is Madden’s everything, and I want to see it succeed. I might have a fallback, but he doesn’t, and I’d love for us both to be doing this full-time and making a great living out of it.

He gets to spend his days outside.

I get to design.

It’s perfect.

Plus, it means we’re together. And that might be the most important part of it all.

Chapter 9

Madden

By the time I get home that afternoon, I’m beat. I like that my job is hard work and keeps me fit, but it doesn’t normally drain me the way today has. It feels like someone has squeezed all of the thinking juices from my brain and left me with a soggy lump.

I haul my ass up to shower, then sit on the tile floor and air-dry. My hair drips steadily onto my shoulders, and for the first time all day, I let myself remember this morning. That hug from Penn was sudden but it was everything I crave from him. Tight, warm, secure. Torture.

Knowing that I’ll never have him in all the ways I crave is getting painful. But he’s lonely.Lonely.

If that doesn’t make me feel like shit, nothing will. I’ve tried to introduce him to my Bertha boys, and he’s friendly with them, but he doesn’t view them as friends. Neither are hiscolleagues. Whereas when I meet people, I’m instant friends with all of them.

Penn’s always been the more introverted one out of us though. Had a great pitch on the field but was always more comfortable in front of a computer than at team parties, and if I didn’t drag him places, he probably never would have gotten out.

And now he has Lana.

I’m happy for him. I am. Maybe if I say it enough times, I’ll believe it. If they start dating, I won’t have to worry about him being lonely and trying not to smother him with my neediness because he won’t have time for any of that when he has agirlfriend.And sure, he says that won’t be Lana, and I’m getting ahead of myself, but at this point, I need to start force-feeding myself images of being his best man at his wedding because my feelings for him are suffocating, and something’s gotta give.

We’ve been friends for years, and he’s never given me the slightest hint he’s anything but straight, so this crush not only hurts because it’s unrequited, but it also makes me feel guilty too. I owe it to us both to get over it.

I drag a towel through my hair to get it as dry as possible before heading out in search of my roommates. Luckily, with it being Friday, some of them should be around for family night, which is something we’ve only started doing since our newest roommate moved in. Monopoly Mondays are sacred together time, whereas Fridays are more casual, but I’m not against seeing my brothers another night in the week.

Sometimes Penn comes over for it too, sometimes my roommates’ partners are here, but most of the time, it’s just us.

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