Page 58 of Just Bromantically Invested

“No, it’s fine?—”

“Madden, please?—”

“—both busy, and I’ll?—”

“—we have lots to talk about?—”

“—see you tomorrow.” He turns to leave, clearly in a rush to get away and not listening to a damn thing I have to say. I’ll chase him down if I have to because even if his weirdness today had nothing to do with Lana, I want to make sure he knows I’d never, ever cheat on someone. I’d especially never ever drag him into helping me do it.

But before he can take another step, Lana shouts over my stammering.

“I’m a lesbian!”

Dear god. What the hell was that?

Whatever it was makes Madden stop though. He glances back over his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed, and looks between us. “You’re … what?”

“A lesbian. Very gay, very into women, and not at all dating Penn. Never was.”

Madden’s eyes shoot to mine as Lana stands from her chair. She scoops up the drink that I haven’t touched.

“And with that, I’m going to go. Madden, I hope we have time to hang out at some point, but until then, I sense my cat is missing me.”

She lets herself out, and neither Madden nor I speak until we hear the door close behind her.

“Lana’s a lesbian?”

I manage not to laugh at the alliteration. “Yes.”

“When did she tell you?”

I owe him the truth. “The day we met for coffee.”

“But … you were dating.”

“We weren’t.” I feel like complete dirt for admitting this. “She could tell I was getting uncomfortable with you setting me up, so she stepped in.”

“It was a lie?”

“I’m sorry.” I close the distance between us and grab his wrist because he needs to hear me out. “It was fucked-up of me to go along with it, but I wanted to buy myself some time.”

“Some time for what?”

I didn’t realize it then, but I think the reason the thought of all those dates made me uncomfortable was because they weren’t with him. “I don’t want a girlfriend, Madden.”

“But—”

“I only want you.” The words slip out before I can stop them. I feel sick. Desperate. Terrified he’s going to tell me that I’ve gotten this whole thing wrong.

“Me?”

I hadn’t planned to do this. An hour ago, I’d been prepared to take how I felt to the grave. The thing about Madden is that he’s impossible to lie to, and when we’re face-to-face, I don’t want to lie. I want him to know everything about me.

I let go of his wrist and slide my hand into his. “Whatever way you’ll have me. Friends. Best friends. More. It probably sounds so fucking psycho to you, but I hate when you’re not around. I hate having distance between us, and I want you to come over here after work every day. I want us to be able to hang out with your friends without me feeling like I’m imposing. I want you to get to know Lana and become friends with her too. And I want … I want you to be able to do this job without it feeling like I’m losing you.”

“That’s why I’m here,” he whispers. “That whole conversation got to me. It felt like you were tearing us apart, and I can’t fucking have that. You’re the one thing in my life that I’d do anything to protect. I love my Bertha boys, I love my job, I love how good and healthy I feel and how happy I am in my skin. But I’d give everything up if it meant losing you. Including this job.”

“What are you saying?” I’m holding my breath, too chickenshit to push his decision, but I’m the one who laid it all out there, and if Madden can’t give me an answer, that speaks volumes.

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