Page 35 of Just Bromantically Invested

Madden’s makeshift music stops, and I blink out of my memories as he scoops his shorts from the floor.

Then he drops his briefs.

No strip show this time, just a quick removal before hewalks down the hall toward the front door. I watch him the entire way, gaze dropping onto his ass.

Madden is all muscle. I know he’s all muscle. I know he’s got a great ass because I see it every other day. He turns before I can look away, and instead of his ass, I’m staring at his dick. His pubes are trimmed, and he’s hanging soft and thick between his legs. Looking at Madden’s dick is something I actively avoid, so I’ve never really seen it in this much detail before. Considering he’s completely soft, he’s a good size, and I wonder if it stays around that as it gets hard or if it turns into a fucking monster.

My tongue grazes my dry lips.

Lana wants me to get that thing hard.

My best friend’s dick.

As in the dick attached toMadden.

Something stirs deep in my gut as Madden leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms.

Damn, he’s got some biceps.

“You okay?”

Fuck. Am I? I’m currently thinking about whether or not I can turn a man on and what that would mean for us, and my face has gone all hot at the thought. “Yeah. Just hungry.”

He moans, and in something that I swear is from straight-up porn, he runs his fingers over his abs. “Me too. Skipped lunch. Worked up a real appetite.” His tone is completely normal, but my brain twists it.

“Let’s hope food is fast, then,” I say, forcing my gaze to the TV.

But as soon as my Madden focus is broken, I realize something I hadn’t before.

I’d been so focused on what it would mean if I made Madden hard that I hadn’t considered one thing.

What the fuck does it mean that I’ve gotten hard instead?

Chapter 13

Madden

I’m trying to be very, very okay with Penn not telling me about Lana. I mean, technically, he did. They just got together. But if she hadn’t been the one to say something, would I still be in the dark about it?

Something about him keeping a secret from me feels off. I’d really like to say I’m not dramatically needy for him, but that’s a fucking lie because Penn is supposed to be mine. Maybe that’s where my feelings came from—this lack of guidelines and boundaries has confused my brain into thinking this is more than it is.

My parents can barely stand me, and all of my roommates have paired up except for Xander, who has Seven and Molly anyway. They all have their people. I thought I had mine, but now he’s gone and got himself a Lana, and I don’t know where I stand.

I’m feeling sick and want to go home, but at the same time, I’m craving to be near him. While I still can.

Penn can say what he likes about this being my place and going to Lana’s if she’s uncomfortable, the reality is that I’m very, very gay, and Penn is very, very attractive. I wouldn’t blame her at all if me being constantly naked is a line for her. It is for most people. They immediately think nakedness equals sex.

They don’t get why someone would choose to be a naturist. I grew up in an uptight family, and my parents are always the first to say how strange and off the deep end I’ve gotten. I try to pretend like it doesn’t hurt, I try to stay true to myself, but it’s getting isolating. Some days, I question if it’s even worth it. Do I want to always be the creep who doesn’t wear clothes? Do I want to always justify my choices and explain that I’m so much more myself when I’m naked? When I’m naked at home, I don’t even notice because it’s treated like a nonevent there. It’s not about flaunting things or going for shock factor or attention or anything like that.

Maybe it’s time to face facts though. Maybe people think it’s weird because itisweird.

“You’ve gone quiet.”

I blink Penn back into focus. “Yeah. Thinking.”

“About?”

I don’t want to say, but telling him that will only make him worry.

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