Page 31 of Just Bromantically Invested

Ooops. I sidestep further into the kitchen so the counter is covering me from the hips down. “Why are youhere?”

“Penn invited me over.”

“Well, Penn invitedmeover.”

“And that’s all well and good,” she says, shielding her eyes, “but I asked why you were naked, not why you’re here!”

“What’s all the shouting?” Penn asks, coming out of his bedroom.

I’m trying to keep myself covered while doing a mental floor plan of his apartment to work out if the flushing toilet was all a decoy so I wouldn’t know Lana was in his room with him.

Wasshe in there?

Is something happening between them after all?

“You have a naked Madden in your apartment,” Lana says, blindly pointing my way.

“Ah.” He joins me, helping himself to a Coke as well. “Yeah, Madden’s a nudist.”

“Hewhat?” Her hands are covering her whole face now.

“It means he doesn’t wear clothes.”

“I know what a nudist is. But you didn’t think to mention that in the million and one conversations we’ve had about him?”

“Must have slipped my mind.”

“To be fair,” I say, rushing to Penn’s defense, “it’s not something we think about much. I forget I have my bits out most of the time.”

“Because that’s my biggest concern here.” Lana slowly inches her hands away from her face, establishes I’m not flashing her, and lowers them altogether. “What’s the deal? You let it all out while you’re strutting around Penn’s place?”

“I don’t strut, necessarily …”

“Kinda do.” Penn smirks as he takes another sip of his drink.

“Either way, if you’ll redirect your eyes for about three minutes, I’ll put my clothes back on.”

“Thanks.” Lana turns her back, and, for maybe the first time in Penn’s apartment, I pull on clothes and … stay in them.

Which, I guess, if he has a girlfriend, is something I’m going to have to get used to.

“Thanks for the heads-up,” I grumble.

Penn looks genuinely sorry. “I didn’t hear you come in, or I would have caught you first.”

Too busy making out?I don’t ask the question. My gut has enough bitterness and jealousy going on.

“Anyway.” I throw Lana a quick look, and with her back still to me, I pull up a stool and give Penn my full attention. “I thought tonight we could visit a few social media accounts. You can let me know who you think is attractive, and we’ll go from there.”

“What social media accounts?” Lana asks.

I guess I’m giving her the CliffsNotes, then. “Penn wants a girlfriend?—”

“I never said I want a girlfriend?—”

“Since he struck out with you,” I probably shouldn’t have added that part, but I’m being dramatic about my suspicions toward them. “I’m helping set him up on a couple of dates.” Iturn back to him. “All gorgeous and smart and funny women. You’ll like them.”

“I dunno.” Penn shifts on the spot. “Blind dates are awkward.”

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