Page 62 of Fae Champion

“I trust them with my life.”

“And can I?”

“I hope so.”

Again I diverted my stare. “And you? Can I trust you?”

“No, beautiful, fierce, surprising Elowyn…” The spark of passion I’d felt from him as we’d had sex had fled, leaving his voice hollow. “You shouldn’t. I’m … made to do things … I don’t want to do. You can never trust me.”

“What kind of things?”

His jaw clenched and his tattoos flared for an instant. “What made you startle awake?”

“I didn’t think I’d startled.”

“You did.”

“Unease. I just felt uneasy. Like … like something was wrong. But I don’t know what it could be … beyond all the obvious stuff, anyway.”

I turned away from him, pressing my back to his thigh, curling in on myself instead of him around me. But he didn’t speak for so long that I ended up facing him again. “What? It was nothing, really.”

“‘Nothing’ is never really nothing. Not when it concerns you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You have your intuition. I have mine.”

“Again, what’s that mean?”

“It means whatever uneasiness you felt, I feel it too. I don’t know what it means, and I should.”

“Why should you?”

“’Cause when it comes to you, I’m supposed to be the one who protects you from everything, whatever comes.”

“But I’m not supposed to trust you…”

“No, ’cause that’s not all I am. I’ve been made into someone I never wished to be. But my wishes haven’t mattered for a very long time.”

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t have anything better to offer him when he wouldn’t let me in on his secrets.

“Not as sorry as I am. From what you’ve told me, your life hasn’t been about your wishes either.”

I allowed that sentiment to settle for a few breaths. “No, my life’s never been about what I wanted,” I admitted slowly, softly, regretfully. “I was all but a servant to the dragon shifters and dragons, until I was taken and brought here. I tried to make the best of it in Nightguard, I really did, but now that I know it was all a farce, that Zako wasn’t even my father, but that he’d lied to me my whole life, I dunno. It all seems worse somehow.”

He hummed in understanding even though I hadn’t told him every one of those details before. He was the queen’s spy, and I suspected that meant he knew so much more about me than I did about him.

“Our conversation is still private, right?” he asked,now knowing I could see the ears and eyes that watched us all over the palace and across its grounds.

As if the bloody appendages believed we were still at the party with everyone else, they granted us an unintentional reprieve. He waited until I nodded to continue.

“You’re special, El.”

Suddenly feeling like too much of me was on display beyond my nudity, timidly, I glanced up at him again.

“Not just to me,” he continued. “The king wouldn’t have hidden you away withdragonsif there weren’t more to you than he’s letting on.”

“Well, he was unfaithful to the queen, which I definitely don’t totally blame him for—she’s psycho. I was the evidence he needed to hide away so she’d never find it—me.” I shrugged as if it were no big deal to be a pawn of royal indiscretions and power plays.