Page 96 of Both Sides Now

Calli pulls back, her eyes bright. “I missed yousomuch, Keegan.”

I see it in her eyes, too—the love living there. But after our weekend in Mystic, I don’t dare ask who that love is meant for. Some things are better left unsaid.

Lowering her to the ground, I grasp her hand and lead her to my Jeep. “I made reservations at that Italian place we like. Does that work for you?”

“It’s perfect, but I’m supposed to be takingyouout to dinner, remember?”

“So long as we’re together.”

A smile lights up Calli’s face as she leans across the Jeep interior to kiss me. “Best answer ever.”

But despite her upbeat demeanor, I’m a bundle of nerves. The short ride to the restaurant is filled with music and me tapping out the beat against the steering wheel, all the while trying to figure out how to broach the topic.

Calli spends the drive rubbing my arm and drifting her fingers through my hair, but every caress only serves to further my anxiety.

She senses something immediately, but I play it off as jet lag. I refuse to have this conversation in the Jeep.

Wine must make an appearance.

By the time our glasses arrive at the restaurant, my stomach is knotted with anxiety.

Calli puts down the menu and rests her elbow on the table. “Keegan, what’s wrong? Are you still mad at me?”

I shake my head and swallow some wine. “I wasnevermad at you. I have big news, and I’m nervous to tell you.”

“You can tell me anything.”

Trust me, love, we’re about to test that theory.

Here goes nothing.

I reach across the table, clasping her hands in mine. “I spoke with a colleague during the medical conference. He has an opening in his practice. It’s an unbelievable opportunity. Once in a lifetime shot, really.”

She smiles, but the apprehension is clear on her face. “That’s amazing, Keegan. Where will this new venture take you?”

“Long Island. It makes sense since my mom and family are there. Plus, the opportunity is unbelievable.” Great, now I’m repeating myself.

“Yes, you said.” Calli rolls her shoulders, slips her hand from mine, and raises her wineglass. “Congratulations. I know you’ll be an incredible addition to his practice.”

“I haven’t decided yet. I’m mulling it over.”

Okay, that’s a lie. I know the two things I want, but those things are in different locales.

Calli doesn’t seem happy about my news, but she’s holding it together. My question is why. Is she being stoic or is she grateful for the reprieve?

I attempt to interpret her body language, desperate for some sign to forge ahead.

Our server stops by the table to take our orders, but I wave her off, buying us a few more minutes.

Meanwhile, Calli has avoided looking in my direction since her stilted toast. Her eyes scan the restaurant, but I notice their glassy appearance.

“Can you say something, please?”

She blots her eyes with her napkin before offering a sad chuckle. “I just found you, and now, I’m losing you. I can’t help but think my breakdown that weekend spurred your decision.”

“Not at all, although that was when I first learned of the job. But, it was pie in the sky at that point. At the medical conference, Dr. Miner assured me the position was mine if I wanted it.”

Calli shifts in her seat, her gaze focused on the table. “Leaves us a bit of nowhere, doesn’t it?”