Page 102 of Both Sides Now

“Callista, remember your grandmother’s house in Scotland? You loved that place, but after she died, you hated it. To quote you, it felt like a shrine instead of a home. When your parents sold it, you danced with joy. You told me that you felt like a burden had been lifted.”

“It wasn’t the same after she was gone.”

“And neither is this place.” Shawn’s voice is gentle now, as if realizing how close I still tread to the edge. “It’s just a house now.”

“You think I made the wrong choice?”

“I think if you’d made the right choice, you wouldn’t have taken to your bed for a week.”

He’s right. I know he’s right.

“Should I talk to Keegan?”

He shrugs again, his gaze focused out the window. “I would wait until things cool down. Wait until you’re certain of what you want. You’re giving the poor guy whiplash.”

“I never meant to hurt him.”

“I know, but you did, regardless. Figure out what you want—from him, from life. Then, present your case.”

“Can I go back to bed until then?”

Shawn tosses the blanket at me, shooting me a mock scowl. “I’ll let you wallow for the next two days, but that’s it. Don’t make me send Suzanne down here.”

“Deal,” I grumble, grabbing Domino in my arms as I return to my bed.

Shawn leans over me, pressing a kiss to my forehead as I snuggle back under the covers. “I love you. You are my family. But I don’t want to see you miss out on your life. There’s a ton of beauty out there, just waiting for you.”

I spend the next hour in bed, but I can’t sleep. Instead, I stare at the ceiling, my fight with Keegan playing on a reel in my head.

It’s funny how you only see an argument from one side when you’re mired in it. But my friend’s observations prove that Keegan was only protecting himself.

Protecting a heart that I hurt. Repeatedly.

Suddenly, a new feeling seeps into my body.

Hope.

So, I fucked things up. Again. I own that fact. But I’m not above apologizing. I’m also not above begging or groveling, should the case require it.

“What do you think, Domino? Shall we see if Dr. Russo might reconsider some of the details of this Long Island adventure? Renegotiate some terms that suit all of us?”

Her tail wags with enthusiasm, a sure sign of her approval.

First thing tomorrow morning, I’ll talk to Keegan. Right after I finish cleaning this house.

So much for best-laid plans.

My hands shake as I read the form letter from Dr. Russo’s office. It informs me, and the rest of his patient roster, that the esteemed specialist is leaving the practice at the end of themonth. His current caseload will be divvied up amongst the three remaining doctors, but not to worry. The letter assures me that my needs and desires will be carried out in accordance with my wishes.

What a boatload of shit.

A form letter. That’s how I learn when he’s leaving—a damn form letter.

I call his office, tapping my nails against the counter when his receptionist answers. “I need to schedule an appointment with Dr. Russo. Immediately.”

“He’s not taking on any new clients.”

“I’m not a new client. My case is highly specialized, and I just received word that he’s leaving soon. I need to speak with him before then.”

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