Page 81 of Both Sides Now

The woman is demanding I fuck her in broad daylight in a public parking lot with zero tint on my windows.

There is only one possible reply to her request.

A smile cuts across my face as I hop out and settle into the backseat, shooting her a smirk. “I’m waiting on you, beautiful.”

Yes, I’m calling her bluff, but when she climbs into the backseat and straddles my lap, I know one thing is for certain.

This relationship will never lack for sexy surprises.

Moms are always right.Just don't tellmymother that, because she'll never let me live it down. She claimed when I met the right woman, I’d know immediately and all those things that seemed so terrifying would cease to be an issue.

Talk about a dead on balls accurate statement.

I didn't fall in love with Callista the moment we met. But she intrigued me, which is more than I can say for most of the women parading through my life. The more time I spent with her, the more intriguing she became. And beautiful. And intelligent. The list goes on and on.

Before I knew it, I was in love with Calli. Even though I regret telling her when I was halfway in the bag, I never regret saying the words. She deserves to know she's adored.

We've been dating for two months now, and although she has yet to utter those fateful words, I know she cares about me. She shows me in a million different ways.

By far, this woman is the most fun I've ever had and judging by her smile whenever she sees me, I know the feeling is mutual.

Please, God, don't let me be reading this wrong.

Thankfully, I have Shawn and Suzanne's blessing to date their dear friend. Now, we spend one night per week with them, sharing dinners or a few drinks at the bar.

They’re good people, and I’m blessed to have their approval. Hey, I get it. They adore Calli and want to keep her safe. The fact that they think I fit the bill is icing on the cake.

The weirdest thing? I never grow tired of Callista’s company. I can spend the entire day with her, and all I want is her cuddled in my arms that night.

Doesn’t hurt that her bedroom acrobatics are outstanding. She wasn’t kidding about being flexible and I’ve put that theory to the test numerous times.

We've been careful since our insanely wonderful romp on Long Island, although I can't tell you the number of times I'vebeen tempted to throw caution to the wind and toss out my box of condoms. There's been a few times we've come close, too, but at the last minute, I always err on the side of caution.

I'm tired of being cautious. I argue with myself regularly over it.

What's the worst that can happen? Calli gets pregnant? I wait for the feeling of dread associated with that idea, but it never arrives.

I still cling to my whole no marriage or kids scenario, but my resolve weakens every time that ivory-skinned beauty smiles in my direction.

But Callista never mentions a future. It's as though she fears planning for anything beyond the here and now. I get it; she planned everything with Charlie. Look where that got her.

I strive daily to be the man she deserves. The man who's worthy of her love. I want to be her forever.

As far as our doctor/patient relationship, it unofficially ended when our relationship began. She’s never asked about the results of Charlie's sperm DNA fragmentation test, even though they came back weeks ago.

I just won’t look at them.

Funny. It’s as though I worry I’ll jinx my relationship with Calli by opening that door. My very own Pandora’s box.

Perhaps some part of her doesn't want to know, either. Or maybe she's growing attached to the idea of a future with me, letting go of the one she couldn't have with Charlie.

Am I wrong to hope for that? I know she cares about me, but I wish she'd give me the reassurance I'm too chicken shit to ask for.

I need to hear her say the words.

Tell me she lovesme. Tell me she choosesme. Perhaps then, the fear will dissipate, and our future will no longer seem so unattainable—for either of us.

But I have a plan. The last few weeks have been a hamsterwheel of appointments and procedures. Too many late nights and far too few minutes with the woman I love.

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