Page 60 of Both Sides Now

Time to hear Louise’s side and glean some insight into her son’s state of mind regarding happily ever after.

Louise picks at a loose thread on her white robe. “His father left when he was very young. Decided he didn’t want that life anymore. Keegan grew up with only the barest memories of his father, and a chip that grew larger every year his dad stayed away. All the other kids had dads to throw around a baseball with, or root them on at pee-wee football. Keegan only had me.”

I grasp her hand. “You were more than enough. Keegan adores you. He knows what you gave up to care for him. The sun rises and sets on you. Trust me.”

Louise smiles, and forces out a shaky breath. “He’s got a good heart and he never gave me any trouble. He wanted to be a doctor from the time he was six, and he worked tirelessly toward that goal. It’s as though he knew how I struggled and refused to add to it. He grew up too fast. Too jaded.”

Perhaps I should let the conversation lie.

But I’ve had a couple glasses of wine and I want answers.

Plus, it’s not like his family isn’t aware of Keegan’s dating rules.

“You think that’s why he hates the idea of romance and love?”

She nods. “Absolutely. It all came out during his childhood friend’s wedding. Someone asked when Keegan planned on walking the plank. He replied never, with no elaboration. I sat him down later that night and pulled the truth from him.”

“Which was?”

“Per Keegan, he watched love break me every day. How I pined for a man who didn’t love me and likely never had. Who didn’t deserve me or my affections. Certainly not my tears. But that wasn’t what scared him the most.”

I accept a third glass of champagne from the spa worker with a smile, wholly unsure I want to know Keegan’s real reason for evading love.

“He worries that since he carries half his father’s DNA, he may also carry the capacity to wound those around him. If he keeps all women at arms’ length, that isn’t a possibility.”

Her words echo through my heart because Keegan isn’t holding me at a distance. Even though this weekend is a setup for his family, there is a true bond between us. Deep down, I believe he needs me. Lord knows I need him.

And now, we’rebothterrified.

I huff out a breath and take a large gulp of champagne, earning a look of surprise from his mom.

Sorry, Louise, I needed some help washing that information down.

“I don’t mean you, Callista.”

I wave my hand, taking yet another sip. “It’s fine. Keegan and I have had this conversation before. He was always up front about his beliefs, although I now have a better grip on how those beliefs began. Although, not every man wantsmarriage and a family. Some are happy being single, and it’s simply a preference.”

Louise chews her lip, no doubt concerned she’s ruined her son’s newest dalliance. “I worried that was the case with Keegan, but then you arrive on his arm. He’s not the same man. I’ve never seen my son as happy as he is now. Thank you, Callista.”

I jerk my head from her piercing gaze, her eyes the same bright blue as her son.

She seems in earnest with her statement, and I know he’s changed me, too. He’s brought me back to life.

But what does that mean? Long term, how does that look?

We both had plans for our future. Then we walk into each other’s lives and upend everything. Emotions strewn about the floor like dirty laundry.

What if Keegan does feel something deep and powerful for me?

How do I feel about that?

Worse, what if he doesn’t?

All I know at this juncture is that champagne and deep internal conversations donotmix.

“I’m glad he seems happier, but it has nothing to with me,” I mumble.

“You have everything to do with it. I see the way he looks at you. You’ve changed him. For the better.”

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