Page 52 of Both Sides Now

“I watched what love did to my mother. Even after he abandoned us, she still pined for him. For years. She didn’t think I’d notice, but she was my entire world and life made me grow up fast.”

“Did she see it coming?”

I shrug. “Probably, but my mom is a dreamer. She loves love and all its trappings. Deep down, she believed he would return. He never did. Love ruined her.”

Calli sets her jaw, her eyes steely with determination. “No, it didn’t.”

I’m not in the mood to argue this point.

Calli has other ideas.

“Can we change the subject?” I ask.

“No, because this is the good stuff. This is what makes you the man you are today.”

“Cold and bitter?”

“You’re not either of those, but you are guarded. You think love destroyed your mom. It saved her.”

I open my mouth to retort, but Calli holds up her hand, stopping me dead in my tracks.

“I’m not referring to your father. Your mom’s love for you and your love for her saved her. I guarantee if she hadn’t had you, she would have fallen apart completely. You gave her a reason to go on. A reason to get up every day.”

Her words resonate with me, even though I’m nowhere near ready to forgive my father. Hell, I detest using that term, as he hasn’t earned it. Sperm donor suits him far better.

But there is sense in her statements. A kernel of truth that I’ve avoided because the story I constructed in my head allowed me to hold everyone at arms’ length.

That story kept me safe, but with this petite beauty’s help, I no longer want to play by those rules.

Her courage has given me courage to tear down the walls built around my heart.

It’s a slow road, but no other woman has ever loosened a brick in that wall.

Callista took a damn sledgehammer to it.

What she doesn’t know is how much I think about her. All the time. How no other woman is remotely tempting anymore.

I’ve been asked on several dates, and turned them all down.

Calli is my new measuring stick, but she can’t be mine.

Why not?

Another question that has simmered in my brain for the last few weeks.

A question I damn well know the answer to, no matter how I despise the truth.

Calli has plans. She dreams of being a mother and living out the happily ever after that life stole from her the first time around.

She deserves that.

“Hey, where did you go?” Calli’s voice is soft as she brushes her fingers through my hair, bringing me back to the present.

“Sorry. Just thinking.”

“Normally, I would apologize for barreling into your personal life, but I want to know you, Keegan. All the good and bad parts. Besides, I can’t be the only one with mopey stories. You had to take some of the pressure off me.”

Typical Calli. I laugh and roll down the window, letting in some fresh air. Soon, I’ll be able to smell the ocean.

---