Page 47 of Both Sides Now

He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Your favorite coffee place is over there. You’re going the wrong way. Unless … you’ve found somewhere you like better.”

I place my finger in front of my lips, shushing him. “Keep your voice down. If you must know, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my baristas. But don’t tell them. Don’t want them getting all huffy.”

Keegan clicks his tongue against his teeth, his blue eyes dancing with mischief. “I knew you had a little kink in you somewhere. Care for some company?”

There goes that flush again, climbing up my cheeks and turning me every shade of pink. I’m like a schoolgirl with a crush. All emotions and jitters because the cutest boy in class is paying me some attention.

In other words, the antithesis of cool.

My only hope? He doesn’t pick up on it.

“Always love some company. How did you like the class?”

“It was great, even though I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. You’re an incredible instructor.”

“You did well for your first class. The women really enjoyed you as an addition. I caught several of them ogling you.”

He chuckles, pulling a scrap of paper from his pocket. “One in particular. Ally gave me her number. Told me she’s singing at some bar tonight. Wanted me to check it out.”

I force a strained smile. “Did she? I’m sure you two will have fun together.”

Hello, jealousy, lovely to see you again. What is my issue? In all my years with Charlie, the little green monster never showed itself. Not once did I envy another woman, because I knew Charlie would always choose me.

But Keegan? He’s a different story, and Ally’s invitation rips through my calm facade with the ferocity of a lion’s paw.

Keegan shoots me a curious look. “I never said I was going.”

“Hmm. I think you will.” I chew my lip, desperate to quiet the rising agitation in my core. The last thing he needs is for me to pop off over his potential dates.

Because we’re friends, and I’m still learning what that entails. Or doesn’t entail, as the case may be.

Trickier than I thought. Much trickier, particularly with gorgeous women drooling over him.

Like I said, I’m a newbie in this arena of envy.

I hoped my blasé response would be sufficient. No such luck.

“Why do you say that?” Keegan presses, gripping my elbow.

I shrug and shake off his hand. “She’s young, beautiful, sweet, and without all the complications of us older women. She’s not looking for marriage or children. Perfect for you.”

A cloud passes over Keegan’s features. “Is that a fact?”

“It is. You said you have no desire to have a family. Most women over the age of thirty are looking for something long-term. A sad but true fact.”

“What areyoulooking for, Calli?”

His question reverberates inside my heart, bouncing around like a ping-pong ball. The truth is, I don’t know anymore.

Shawn has cautioned me away from the handsome doctor, but my heart has other ideas regarding Keegan, even if they’re silly and pointless.

Then, just for fun, let’s throw in my increasing anxiety surrounding single motherhood.

Hearts are not known for making the best decisions, and mine has been pulverized. Repeatedly.

Stagnation seems my only safe option, but I’m sick of safe.

I release a groan and scrub my hand over my eyes.

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