Page 32 of Both Sides Now

“That’s where you’d gone?”

I nod and offer a shrug. “Then I returned to the dinner by myself. Don’t worry too much about Megan, though. She’s not exactly weeping into her pillow. She already has dinner plans with a colleague.Hethought her tits were tremendous, too.”

Calli’s laughter sweetens the silence, and I join in, feeling the tension ebb from my body. “I knew her tits would come in handy.”

I kick back in the chair, letting my gaze roam over Callista. I know she’s my patient, but she’s also a beautiful woman. Abeautiful, intelligent, insightful woman—who can kiss like there’s no tomorrow. “I didn’t think you’d come today.”

“I almost didn’t, but I couldn’t leave it like that. It felt so unfinished.”

“I agree. Besides, don’t you want your test results?”

She chews her lower lip, averting her gaze. “I don’t know, Dr. Russo. Do I?”

I return my focus to the computer and open her file. “Let’s see. Either way, it’s going to be okay. I promise.” I’m not sure why I say these words, although I know I mean them. I glance over her results, feeling a mixed bag of emotions.

Emotions that obviously show on my face.

Calli sags in the chair, shaking her head. “It’s bad, isn’t it? There’s something wrong with me.”

I turn the computer to face her, showing her the screen. “No, Calli. There’s nothing wrong with you. Physically, there’s no reason you can’t carry a child to term.”

She leans forward, trying to make sense of the myriad of numbers. “Then why did I keep miscarrying?”

“That’s our next step. There’s a good chance that something was wrong with the fetus, and it was your body’s way of protecting both of you. It’s not uncommon. It could be as simple as stressors in your life. Even your diet.”

“All three times?”

I fold my hands, flipping into the role of the doctor. “There’s also the possibility of a chromosomal abnormality.”

“English, please.”

“An incompatibility between your egg and your husband’s sperm.”

“That can happen?”

“It can. It often does.”

“Can we test for that?”

I nod, swallowing against the lump in my throat. “We can. We’ll perform a sperm DNA fragmentation test to ensure thegenetic material of your husband’s sperm is compatible with life. Don’t worry, Mrs. Webster, we’ll make you a mother, one way or another.”

I expect a smile of relief, maybe even a clap of excitement. That’s standard now. Instead, Calli sits before me, clutching her purse and twisting a ring around her finger, looking anythingbuthappy.

“I should be thrilled, right? There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Absolutely. One hurdle cleared.”

“Then why am I so conflicted? I thought … I thought this was what I wanted, but what if I’m making a horrible mistake?”

This is my chance to shoot Calli’s plan dead in the water. Tell her to forgo this cockamamie idea. But I’d be the biggest bastard on the planet if I did that to her. She wants this child. And she had no reservations before our intimate encounter the other night. I can’t allow myself to read into it, or its ramifications. “I know you’ll be an amazing mother, Calli. But you don’t have to decide anything today. We still need to run additional testing. But we are one step closer to getting you pregnant … with your husband’s baby.”

I feel ill as I voice the words.

A feeling I’m unfamiliar with courses through my body. Callista is not mine. She never was, and she has totally different priorities in life than I do.

So why does the idea of her having another man’s baby fill me with dread? What is this exquisite anger eating away at my insides?

She pulls at imaginary threads on her pants, her nervousness echoing my own. “As if today isn’t already a mix of emotions, I also have a date tonight.”

---