Page 105 of Both Sides Now

“No.”

His eyes widen at my forceful reply. “No?”

“Tell me the results.”

“I just did.”

“Not for us. I want to know Charlie’s results.”

“I don’t know if they’re back,” he stammers.

Keegan is a terrible liar. He loathes lying, likely because he sucks at it.

But I’m done skipping around the truth. I need cold, hard facts, and I need them now. “You know they’re back. Tell me the results.”

“I don’t think?—”

“Tell me,” I bellow, my voice reverberating off the walls.

Keegan opens my file on the computer, his eyes scanning the results. But I already know the outcome. I see it in the set of his jaw and the look of pity washing over his features. “His sperm contains a DNA fragmentation index of greater than thirty percent.”

“Speak English, Dr. Russo.”

He runs a hand along his bearded jaw and shakes his head. “The reason you kept miscarrying … is that although his sperm fertilized your egg, the sperm wasn’t healthy enough to produce a viable fetus.”

“Not compatible with life.” The words slip past my lips, sounding as hollow as I feel. A one, two punch. There is no hope for Charlie’s legacy and Keegan is leaving my life. “It’s over. I have nothing left.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Are you?”

His brows raise at my pointed question. “Do you think this makes me happy? Watching your heart break? It’s agonizing for me. I know how much you wanted this baby. I hate that this is the result. It brings me no joy.”

But, despite the pain of learning Charlie’s fate, that isn’t why my heart aches.

“What about the other result? Do you hate that, too?”

“Calli—”

I stand and grab my purse. “No need to answer that. I’ve loved two men in my life. One is buried six feet under and the other is leaving my life forever. Good luck on Long Island. I’m sure you’ll be a smashing success.”

“Please, wait a few minutes. You’re too upset to drive.”

No way will I stick around any longer. Why stay where I’m not wanted?

I slide on a brave mask, much like I’ve done these last several years.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m grand. Just one more nail in the coffin that is my life.” I march to the door, my hand resting on the knob.

This is the last time I’ll see Dr. Russo, and I hate sending him off with anything but love. He deserves that.

He deserves everything. Everything Ishouldhave been smart enough to give him.

Glancing over my shoulder, I force a smile, even though my face wants to crack. “Take care of you, Keegan. You’re the most amazing man. I just wish I hadn’t been too late to realize it.”

Chapter

Fifteen

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