Page 104 of Both Sides Now

My temper flares at Keegan’s calm demeanor. His flat affect. “Screw your professional distance. What about that weekend in Connecticut?”

Keegan straightens, his fingers tapping against the desk. “The one where you demanded I drive you home because you couldn’t handle being around me? That weekend? The one where not twelve hours after you told me that you love me, you slam on the brakes? What about it, Calli?”

Okay, at least now he’s angry. It’s an improvement over apathy. I’ll take what I can get at this point.

I’m also firmly aware that I need to layeverythingon the line if I stand any chance in hell of salvaging our relationship.

“We didn’t use anything that weekend.”

When his only reply is a raised brow, I continue. “We didn’t use any protection.”

He clicks his tongue against his teeth, nodding in agreement. “I know. I’m sorry about that as well.”

“You’re sorry? So, it meant nothing to you? Because it meant something to me.”

“Of course, it meant something. But I crossed a line. A line I won’t cross again.”

I feel the walls closing in on me, my throat constricting as I fight to find a way to reopen the door to Keegan’s heart. “That’s it, then? You’re done with me?”

His blue eyes—those beautiful blue eyes I hoped to gaze into every morning—meet mine. “Calli, I did not reach thisdecision lightly. I wish you every happiness. You deserve it. I hope you have the most beautiful baby in the world. One that looks like a perfect blend of you and Charlie.”

“What if I’m already pregnant?”

His jaw slackens as a a shocked huff flies from his mouth.

Finally, an honest reaction.

“What?”

“We had unprotected sex. Multiple times. I was ovulating. What if I’m pregnant? What then?”

“I hadn’t considered that, but I can test you right now.”

“You didn’t consider it? I guess that’s your ploy with every woman, huh? It works. Sure made me feel special.”

I’m not sure how I’m still standing at this point. Everything I thought meant something … didn’t.

“It’s not myploy, and you know it. We can test you right now. It will only take a moment.”

“Fine.” I wait as he calls to his nurse before trailing her to the bathroom. Then, I pee into a cup, shove it in the marked cabinet and return to the waiting room to await my fate.

After a few minutes, the nurse leads me back to Dr. Russo’s office, where he slips a piece of paper across the desk.

Negative.

I’m not pregnant with Keegan’s baby.

I blink back tears as the sorrow kicks in. Sorrow I hadn’t expected to feel.

“Negative,” I mumble. “Well, you must be thrilled.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he snaps.

I raise my hands in surrender. “You don’t want kids. You regret that weekend, crossing that line. Regretallyour time with me. Now, at least you won’t have to worry.”

Keegan leans back in his chair, his face a sea of calm. I wish I had one iota of his nonchalance. I’m a hot mess, covered in a hot mess.

“I wasn’t worried,” he states. “You’re the most amazingwoman I’ve ever met, but I can’t watch you have a child with someone else. I can’t do it, and I know that makes me a bastard in your eyes. So, I’m stepping back. I want to give you want you want, Calli. My partners will take over your case. They’re top-notch specialists.”

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