Page 86 of The Diary of the Vam'pir Jacques

I hid in a small crack in the rock as a troop of sentinels marched past and guessed I was running out of time. The dead bodies had been hidden, but if they found them, the alarm would be raised. Further flights of stairs suggested a descent into Earth’s core.

Then, on turning a corner, light flared, and I covered my eyes. Allowing my eyesight to adjust, I removed my hand and stared open-mouthed at the wonder emerging from the cave. At first, I thought that I must be dreaming, but a sharp pinch convinced me I wasn’t. Ahead, situated in a huge cavern, lay a city that I had not seen the like of since Har’ches.

Astonishment rose as I drank it in, in sheer wonderment.

The city neatly spread out from around a steep hill. Houses were built of stone, standing in rows and were detached. The streets through the city were straight and reminded me of the long roman roads. Dotted about here and there were huge platforms carved of stone, and they had steps leading up to a summit. Temples.

Narrowing my eyes, I was able to make out large stone coffins supported on frames in the temples.

Did those coffins belong to the Chosen of Ramedes? Who knew? I had no time to investigate.

From the hill in the centre of the city ran four long roads in the shape of a cross leading into the city. Where the four touched the hill, they turned into staircases continuing upwards. At the top was a pyramid that would easily rival the Great Pyramid of Giza that we had created.

This one had a flat apex, and there was something built on the top. While longing to investigate, I had priorities and searched for Ramedes and the children.

Finally, I noticed them at the apex of the pyramid and cursed. Damn it, I would’ve to go through the city whose inhabitants were standing on the stairs leading to the summit.

Peering down, I swore.

Soldiers of Ramedes were dotted everywhere. I sensed Ramedes and cloaked myself. Should Ramedes know I was here, it would be a costly mistake, with Kit and Rahmon’s lives on the line.

In fact, it would be suicidal, and the children were my main priority. Nathan would be tracking me, so I wasn’t worried about that. Nathan would be able to smell the bodies I had left in my wake and would sense I was here.

Lightly leaping down from the top of the staircase I stood on, I heard voices closing. I hid behind a house.

The troop was returning, and by their pace, I knew that they’d not found the dead. Relieved, I released a sigh and moved slowly and quietly through the streets. Every so often, I had to hide, and it was taking too long to reach my goal. Nevertheless, I couldn’t reveal my presence to them. People crossing my path were slaughtered; they were those that I couldn’t avoid or saw me.

Guilt was my companion; these were mortals and had committed no great crime. But it was them or the children. No matter what I had to do to save Rahmon and Kit, I’d commit it. The cultists’ faces I killed that day remain clear in my memory and pain me. Their faces intrude upon my dreams, young and healthy, with no wicked thoughts in their minds. Just the urge to please their Goddess. Tragically, they died for that belief.

To this day, I’ve never talked about the murders that I committed. For murder, it indeed was. I had not taken an innocent soul until that night, and it bothers me still. Kill only those that deserve it. From the beginning, that had been a basic Vam’piric principle. Yet, for the sake of love and friendship, I found myself lumped in with those that I hunted down to live.

Inka has attempted to talk to me about it, Nathan too, but I refused to discuss it. Innocents died. It was simple.

Nathan got off lucky. He never had to kill anyone except in self-defence. How I wish I could say the same, but I know the truth. Reality hurts badly, but I have tried to come to terms with what I did for friendship and for love. This time, I wasn’t going to fail my friends, not like in the past.

Pal, although annoyed sometimes, still stood by me and my erring ways. I owed Pal a lot, and I meant to pay the debt back. Instead, I dug a hole I’d never escape from.

???

Damn you, Ramedes, will you read this? Probably. For we have had other encounters, haven’t we, since that night? Neither of us walked away without a scratch, but understand one thing. That evening cost me too much of my humanity. Whenever we met, you have never alluded to it or ever discussed it, and I wish to understand why. Why have you never mentioned it, Ramedes?

I cannot say that we are friends, but we are more than acquaintances. And we dance around the truth as if nothing ever transpired between us.

Quite frankly, you’re a raging bitch, possibly even one from hell. And we get along just fine now. Immortals try to exist peacefully and stick to our own kind, but between us, there is a bond. If you called, I answered, and vice versa.

Ramedes, you are older than me. In Viscerov’s terms, I’m a child, given our age difference. What makes me so intriguing to you? For Ramedes, you shun all other immortals, including Vam’pirs and Viscerov. However, for a time, you hunted with me, like Diana from the Greek legends.

Ramedes, you and I shared more than just a romantic relationship, but I still feel like I don’t really know you. You could say the same, but sometimes I believe that you understood me a little too well.

Perhaps you noticed something I missed, only apparent in my writing.

Do you think there is a cure for the painful memories remaining from that night? It’ll haunt me until I do take the plunge and die. Indeed, I can never escape my actions. And sadly, because I do have some sort of ragged conscience, I will never truly forget.

Upon waking from sleep, my mind immediately goes to that evening. Ramedes could not have punished me more. How would Ramedes respond should I solicit aid from a different Vam’pir? To erase the memory from me, as we are able to. Is the memory her punishment for my actions that night?

Or if I came to you, Ramedes, to wipe that recollection away, would you?

Whatever, it doesn’t matter, does it? My asking these endless questions as in all likeness you’ll never answer.

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