Page 129 of The Diary of the Vam'pir Jacques

Liar! She only wants money to buy her drink.

The disease these women are to society is unacceptable. I have proclaimed Mary’s death sentence and will release the soul at her house. This will send a message that nobody is safe, not even in your own homes. So easily, I could have assisted Mary infinding a new life path had she been honest. But Mary lied and now must pay the price.

It’s as if they believe lies will save them from the judgement of God. I walk this world to see what my children are doing with their existence, and all I find is evilness and wickedness. They make their choices, and I choose mine.

I am curious how Mary Kelly lives. Mary is a clean woman and speaks quite well. I wonder what her home is like. Mary does not board in a doss house as they are called and pays rent for a little room. She differs from the others, and when I see where she lives, there might be something that’ll redeem her.

I doubt it.

Jacques, watch out for I am coming for you.

???

On the 9thof November, Julia slaughtered Mary Kelly like a pig. That is the night that I discovered her merrily cutting away and muttering to herself. The tragedy was that none of these women had done anything to deserve the rough justice that Julia dished out to them.

Julia had gone completely insane. The proof lies in her thinking that I am really the devil. Her scattered her thoughts are even further proof.

Julia’s delusions of being God were also a sign. Hard to believe at the time that Julia had ever entertained the idea of killing me.

No Vam’pir will harm or hurt another. Yet Julia clearly entertained the idea, and I must admit she might have succeeded. The mad possesses strength unmatched by any, and Iwould not expect Julia to attack me. Julia did not realise that she was crazy—or that she desperately needed help.

My heart aches with the pain and confusion Julia was suffering. If only she had not seen Polly Nichols. I don’t doubt Julia saw Kierran’s soul.

Elizabeth’s soul returned and in a relatively short time.

The hardest thing to accept is the fact that Julia felt she couldn’t talk to me. The madness stopped her. All what we had been through together and it amounted to nothing. I can overlook Julia’s death threats, as they were the rantings of a madwoman.

What I cannot get over is that Julia believed I was beyond her reach. I had seen her while she was on her murdering spree. Nothing led me to believe that it was Julia killing so cruelly.

I must have been blind, or Julia was an excellent actress. Either way, I am as much at fault as Julia was.

I stopped her, yes. Recriminations are too late, and Julia rests in peace at last. Now I hope she has found her beloved Kierran and they are finally together and happy. With prayers, I hope she has forgotten what she did, for really, Julia was a good person.

Fate was unkind, and none of it was her fault. Julia was driven mad and did not intentionally murder five women. Obsessive love teaches a valuable lesson that sometimes letting go proves impossible.

Guilt at those innocent deaths resides in me.

London was my haunting ground, and I should have suspected something. But I cannot be everywhere at once. I can only do what is humanly possible. After that, I fail. I ache for the families of the victims, but I would protect a Vam’pir over one of you any time.

My loyalty remains with those I’ve shared multiple millennia with. The only time I would side with a mortal would be in asituation like what Julia found herself in. I killed Julia for her own sake, not yours. Julia was tormented by grief and guilt, and I agree with her when she said that she would have wiped out all prostitution.

Doing that, though, would have slowly destroyed Julia bit by bit. She would have continued to kill remorselessly. Humans are entitled to their own lives, and Vam’pirs shouldn’t judge them.

In the end, there was enough left of Julia that she fought the madness.

I wouldn’t have cared if Julia rampaged through London so long as she spared innocent lives. But she hadn’t; Polly Nichols never really harmed anyone.

That is when the Vam’pirs must intervene.

Vam’pirs avoid harming innocents. We would have helped Julia and punished her. However, if it came to choosing Julia’s life or one of yours, then I would have chosen hers.

As I said, Julia is a Vam’pir. Vam’pirs stick together, which is why when I killed Julia, there were shock waves across the community.

I had done the unthinkable, murdering a Vam’pir.

The others weren’t aware of Julia’s crimes or her torment. Even today, they continue to shun me. I’ve been lonely for a century and desperate for someone to talk to. The only people who didn’t judge me were my mortal friends, and they kept me balanced all these years. I owe my human companions thanks, and I have brought them much luck over the years.

When the Barringtons lost their fortune with bad investments, I gave them money unconditionally. When Barringtons’ great granddaughter needed an operation to save her life, I paid for that. I was obligated to them too much for me to ever repay.

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