Page 119 of The Diary of the Vam'pir Jacques

“You have not learned a single thing. Jacques, I love James and will not desert him.”

“But you claim to love me!” I exclaimed.

“Idolove you, but I also love James. We are engaged to be married, and although I admit to wondering why it took so long, I have an answer now. James is ashamed of what he is and hates you with all his heart. This remains unchanged, regardless of my actions.

“So, where do we go from here? I love you and will not forgo your company because James is jealous.”

“I do not expect you to. And I have made it quite clear to James that I’ll not stop seeing you.”

Elizabeth rose and stood in front of the window and looked out onto the street. “Their lives are so simple, those people out there. They believe they bear immense burdens, yet their worries are few. Monsters are real.”

I joined her.

“In truth, they do not. The likes of James and I ensure vampires don’t bother them. The Vam’pirs wipe out any coven or rogue vampire that we come across. Vampires do not deserve the longevity or the powers. The dirty creatures don’t wish to learn because power is their aim. That was my mistake with Caroline. I did not notice her thirst for power or Caroline’s petty nature for what it truly was.”

“Why offer eternal life to me? What qualities do I have that Caroline lacked?” Elizabeth asked.

“Kindness and generosity. Elizabeth, you are a clear thinker and do not tend towards the melodramatic. You are calm under pressure and a true lady. Someone that I could love until the day that I finally die.”

Lovingly, I took Elizabeth by the arms and turned her to face me. “My soul mate. Elizabeth, I would have you join the Vam’pirs. The choice remains yours, and I would never force you to become like me.”

“Jacques, I never will turn. I cannot be a Vam’pir. Immortality means nothing. I want to live my life. That is all I wish. If you cannot let me do that or accept the fact that I’ll get old. Leave now, spare us further heartache.”

Gently, I kissed the top of Elizabeth’s head as I embraced her.

“Elizabeth Barrington, I shall enjoy watching you live and hope that you’ll let me be a part of it. I’ll not ask you to leave, James, for I see you will not. All I wish is to share your life.”

“And James?”

“Elizabeth, you cannot marry James.”

Elizabeth sighed and broke out of my embrace.

“We know. The engagement has lasted longer than it should have, and people talk about what ails us. While obvious that we care deeply for each other, but circumstances are against us. I love you both and cannot choose.”

Stepping away, I could see Elizabeth was heartbroken.

“I’ll make your choice,” I said, already grieving Elizabeth’s loss. “Go to James. You loved him first. And I refuse to cause more grief than what I already have. James is owed happiness, and I’ll not take another loved one away from him. Elizabeth, I release you from any claim that I might make on your love for me. Please, Elizabeth, be happy,” I begged, walking to the door and opening it.

Elizabeth hesitated.

“Go!Just leave me alone,” I added, my voice clogging with unshed tears.

This was one of the hardest choices I had made in a long time, but I had to do it.

Elizabeth could not.

I owed James this, and I would repay my debt. Unable to save Caroline, I could save Elizabeth.

Elizabeth looked at me with tears in her eyes and then fled. I breathed in the scent of her perfume, and then it was gone all too quickly, just like she was.

With a giant sob, I threw myself down onto a rug in front of the fireplace and began to cry. This hurt more than anything else. I was tempted to run after her and beg her to come back, but I would not. Forcing Elizabeth to choose between us was wrong. And we couldn’t both share her life without a huge scandal. I wanted to die and curled myself into a ball.

Marks entered the room and left again.

A few seconds later, somebody else entered.

A little shocked, I realised I had been lying on the floor for two hours. I stood up and straightened my clothes and turned to face my visitor. It had to be someone who was close to me, or Marks would never have let them in. Let alone see me in this state.

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