Page 21 of Brick

"Then something just isn't adding up here. I'm going to figure this out, and I just pray that when I do, you don't come out a liar." He growls at me, and for the first time since I've met him, he scares me. There's no hiding the monster lurking just below the surface.

"Let me out of here." I take a step in his direction, but once again he stands in front of the door, so I can't leave.

"I already told you I can't do that."

I get right in his face. "How are you going to stop me? You going to beat me up? Maybe torture me like you did your stepfather?" I know I'm going too far even as the words come out of my mouth, but I can't stop it. This is my natural state. When someone corners me, I attack. "You going to handcuff me to the bed until I become whatever it is you want me to be? Maybe force me to say I'm lying so you can get over yourself?" I wait a few seconds, but he doesn't respond. "No? Well, if that's not what you're going to do, then I want out of here. I'm not going to stay another night with a man who can't see what's right in front of his eyes. If something happens to me on the outside, that's just my problem."

"Luna."

"Don't fucking Luna me," I yell and punch him as hard as I can in the arm. He doesn't even flinch. "Get the hell out of my way!" I continue yelling, and finally, he takes a step to the side.

Bursting out of his bedroom door, I see the man Brick called Hook sitting on one of the chairs. To my surprise, he's not therealone; there's a woman sitting on his lap. When he sees me making my way to the door, he starts to stand, but Brick comes out of his room.

"Let her go," he orders, and everyone goes back to what they were doing.

It's nice to see not everyone in the club is so distrusting. If Hook managed to get himself a woman able to deal with this lifestyle, they must have trusted her enough to let her in.

Must be nice to have people who believe in you. I don't know why I ever thought Brick would be different. Serves me right for trying to be vulnerable around anyone.

I rush out the large front doors of the clubhouse and speed walk down the walkway that leads to the strip mall. Once I get there, I'm at a loss as to what to do next. Any other time I've been here, it's because Brick has brought me here. I don't have a car and there's no one on the road.

It's going to be a long walk home, but I'd rather walk until my feet bleed than go back in there with Brick.

He's not the man I thought he was.

My feet are in fact nearly bleeding by the time I make it back to my house. My body is weary, but my mind is going a million miles a minute. I don't know who these gang members are, but I do realize some of what Brick said has to be true. There's no reason for them to come after me. I've got nothing to do with them.

Slowly, I lift the keys in my hand as I stand in front of my apartment door. The last time I was here, I was attacked, and this time there's no one around to help me if I need it.

I hate to admit it, even to myself, but I'm scared. So scared of being alone right now.

I push the key into the lock and turn the knob. My house is still a mess from the altercation between Brick and the man, but thankfully the lights are on and I can see around the apartment. With very hesitant steps, I make my way to the back rooms just to verify that there is indeed no one in here.

Brick has me so sure that I'm going to be attacked without his protection, but here I am in my apartment and nothing bad has happened so far.

Letting out a deep breath, I walk back out to the living room and get started cleaning up. I'm used to cleaning up when the house is in disarray. Many a time I've come home to see Wendy tossing things around because she was sure she had another hit somewhere. Sometimes it feels like all I am to her is a caregiver and not her sister.

I miss the relationship she and I used to have. The laughter and the talks that we shared. Before all the drugs came in and ruined her life, my sister was my best friend. She was everything I wished I could be: open, free, loving. I didn't know it back then, but even though she was fighting her own demons, she was what I pictured someone who had their life together would look like.

Now I'm forced to face the fact that I may never get my sister back to her former glory. All the hopes of us living a long life together—side by side, fighting anything that came our way—our dreams of backpacking through Europe. Even the unbornnieces and nephews she would give me just float away like sand through my fingers. She had so much potential. She's such a great girl, and part of me feels like it's my fault that I didn't fight harder for her to see that.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I frantically dig into my jeans to get it out. My heart drops when I see it's a text from Brick. Here I thought it might be a text from Wendy telling me where I'll be able to pick her up.

How has this become my life? Constant worry. Anxiety. All the worry.

I know while my sister isn't able to take care of herself, I'm going to be stuck in this role. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take it.

I toss the phone down without looking at the message. I can't deal with Brick right now. Not while I'm dealing with missing Wendy.

When I feel the hot tears spilling down my cheeks, the rage inside builds back up.

In a fit, I bend down and pick up the closest thing to me: a framed photo of me and Wendy. Back to when times were better. When we both seemed happy. "You stupid bitch!" I scream and throw the picture against the wall. The tears ramp up, and the worse I feel, the more items I pick up to break. What's the use? This whole scenario is hopeless.

I scream and break things, trying to get this gnawing anger out of my gut. Deep down, I know Wendy has reasons to be how she is, but I can't help but wish she was a little stronger. She and I both grew up in that messed-up house, but I didn't run to drugs.

I ran to isolation and loneliness. It's not the best coping mechanism either.

After running out of things to break in my living room, like a bull, I barrel into my bedroom.

---