Page 80 of Irreversible

“Why would anyone—” She shifts against the wall, and I hear the strain she’s trying to mask. That procedure fucked her up. “You really feel that way? That’s?—”

“I didn’t mean anything by it. We can let it go.” I say it harsher than I mean to. Snappy.

“Okay.”

She’s quiet for several minutes, and I know well enough that it’snotbecause she’s letting it go. Once you’ve piqued this woman’s interest, she’ll persist until her inquiring mind is satisfied. But since she’s not pushing it just yet, I close my eyes and wait.

Before long, I’m imagining sinking into the wall behind me. I do that sometimes. Even more since Nick and Chloe had their night of fun. Our dynamic has changed—and not just in the sexy, flirtatious way. There’s a different level of intimacy Iusually don’t go anywhere near. Maybe it has something to do with being forced to rely on words instead of…body parts.

I don’t hate it as much as I thought I would.

But right now, the things I’m imagining doing if I could materialize in that other room have nothing to do with our kinky alter egos. We’re both injured and exhausted. Tired, down to the bone. For my own sanity, I’ve been throwing myself into escape preparations, dreaming of creative ways to murder the man holding us captive.

But the longer the days drag on, it’s harder to believe our lives will end any differently than the others who found themselves here.

The mental and emotional strain is real.

In the end, I’m just a man. My life will be as easy to snuff out as the rest of them.

I hear her over there, shifting around, trying to find a position that makes her feel less like a stranger had just gone in and poked around her insides. If I could sink into this wall right now, I’d scoop Everly into my arms and just hold her.

And then we’d sleep.

I’m very near unconsciousness when she speaks again. “You know what I keep thinking about?”

Is it what I’m thinking about?

Likely not.

Knowing her, she’s magically deciphered everything I’ve kept buried just by the few telling sentences I let slip. She’s good like that. From what I’ve seen, there aren’t many people with better natural instincts…except for me.

Maybe Tanner, but I’d never admit that. It’s good to keep the guy on his toes.

I wait for her to spill my entire life story down to the letter when she says, “Bubble tea.”

Well, that wasn’t anything I expected. “That overly sweet stuff with those solid balls of goo that come up through the straw, so you have to chew your drink or choke on it?” I never understood the appeal.

“You haven’t tried it, have you?”

“God, no.”

“You should sometime.”

There’s a heaviness in that statement. The same weight that anchors the wordssee you soon.She’s still trying to convince herself there’s a chance of a sometime…or a soon. It’s how she’s survived this long, after all.

I’m just not sure either of us really believes it anymore.

“Sounds awful. What else do you miss?”

“Anything chocolate. I have a bit of a sweet tooth. How about you?”

I see this conversation for the reprieve it is. We were beginning to delve into heavy territory, and as usual, my involuntary reflex kicked in and I got surly. This is my out. A way to keep our connection without dwelling on the heavy stuff.

Thanks for that, Everly.

“Eh,” I say, flippantly. “I don’t really?—”

“Before you go any further with that thought, you should know that I’m dubious about anyone who doesn’t like chocolate, tacos, or dogs.”

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