Page 216 of Irreversible

My instinct is to say no, but I need the distraction. Anything to fill the guilt-ridden void. “Sure.”

He flips a dial and the volume cranks. A song filters through: “6 Underground” by Sneaker Pimps. I wasn’t even born when the song came out, but it’s Allison’s favorite. She was obsessed with the movieCan’t Hardly Wait, and we watched it together countless times during giggle-infused sleepovers in high school.

“Wow,” I breathe out, my attention ping-ponging between the speaker and Jasper as the last ten minutes fall secondary to a different life. “Last time I heard this song, you and I were on a double date with Allison and Erik. Allison was trying to sing the lyrics all sultry, but she sounded like a dude, and Erik pretended he didn’t know her.”

I can’t help but laugh. Out of all the songs to play…

The recollection tastes exactly like the Sour Patch Kids we’d often inhale until our bellies ached—sweet and sour. I wonder ifJasper is being intentional, making me think of her right now. But he doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me for a breath before returning his attention to the road, his hairline dotted with a glistening of sweat.

Nostalgia creeps across my heart as the song continues to spin melodies into memories. I’m compelled to act on the feeling, and I think that was the point.

Retrieving my phone from my handbag, I pull up her number and don’t give myself time to think. I’ve done enough thinking for one lifetime.

Me

Hi. I miss you, too.

My pulse quickens with anticipation as I wait for the message to show as Read. Minutes drag by, one song blending into the next, but nearly ten minutes pass and she still hasn’t opened it. With a sigh, I turn the phone face down in my lap and bob my knees.

Jasper hasn’t said a word. Isaac really got under his skin. “So, what happened to the model who dropped out? It’s unusual for a spot to open up last minute.”

He swallows. “Heard she was in the hospital. Surgery of some kind.”

“That’s unfortunate,” I reply. “Do you really think I’m cut out for this? I haven’t walked a runway in years. I can’t imagine I’ll be the graceful vision they’re expecting, or if I’ll even hit all my marks.”

His throat works again as he flicks a look in my direction. “You were born for this, Everly. Guarantee you’ll blow Abner away.”

I allow the sentiment to settle, sending him a nod. “I, uh…do appreciate you going out on a limb for me. I’m not sure yet ifthis is something I’ll want to pursue long-term, but it’ll be nice to feel relevant again.” Gathering my hair over one shoulder, I play with the spiraled ends. “I know this is a big deal. You didn’t have to bring me in.”

“I wanted to. It was the least I could do after…” He pauses, panning his gaze to the rear-view mirror. “It was the least I could do.”

I pin my lip between my teeth, forcing back theafter.

A new song begins—another one of Allison’s favorites.

We sit in silence, blowing past cars on the expressway, before Jasper turns to me. He loosens his collar, fidgeting. “Is it serious?”

I blink over at him. “Serious?”

“With Isaac.”

“Oh.” Isaac’s face skates across my mind, a warm balm to my senses. I imagine his smirks, his dry sarcasm, his firm hands holding me like a prize. The rare, tender moments that feel a million times more priceless because they’re with him. A smile blooms. “Yes. I think it’s serious.”

I brace myself for Jasper’s huff of disgust—a scowl, or a word of warning.

But it never comes.

“Good,” he says, swiping a hand down his thigh. “He seems intelligent, sharp. He’s a detective, after all.” A glance. “Hopefully he’s someone who will keep you safe.”

My chest grows heavy. I wasn’t expecting his support, not after what transpired back there. “Thank you.”

“You deserve to be happy.”

I look at him, a little stunned, but he’s already turned his gaze to the road, jaw set. “So do you,” I murmur, wringing my hands together. “And I hope you realize you don’t owe me anything, Jasper. It’s been over a year, and I think we’re both in a better place now.”

He nods, tapping his fingers on the wheel.

“Mom’s been urging me to forgive and forget,” I continue. “It’s hard. It’s hard letting go of something you thought you were coming back to, only to have it ripped away so suddenly. It was like a different kind of abduction.” My throat stings, needles and thorns. “I could have handled it better, and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to say that. When we get back, I want to talk to Allison. Try to make things right again.”

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