Page 206 of Irreversible

The sound of her name has him visibly tensing, his throat rolling.

He doesn’t respond.

“Anyway, I figured we could talk. You know…hang out.” Chewing on my lip, I shuffle past him to the closet-sized kitchen. “Maybe with our clothes on?”

“Don’t understand the question.”

I shoot him a grin as I pull ingredients out of their packaging. “You got here fast,” I say. “Did I interrupt your stalking?”

“I was in the area.” Isaac glances at a kitchen barstool, almost like taking a seat would somehow solidify the moment. Give our dynamic a new weight, a different meaning. A breath passes, and he sits down, pressing his elbows to the island. “How was your date?”

Averting my eyes, I shake my head as I reach for a paring knife. “I told you my meeting with Jasper wasn’t a date.”

“Did you wear a dress?”

“Nope. Hoodie and jeans.”

“Was your hair down?”

I blink over at him and position a stalk of celery on a cutting board. “Yes.”

“He’s already dead.”

A laugh slips out. “Trust me, I have no interest in rekindling that relationship. It was all business. Platonic.”

He eyes the vegetables as the knife slices down. “So, what was the point?”

“Closure, I think. And he wants me to get back into modeling.” I move to unwrap a stick of butter. “I’m considering it.”

Isaac steeples his hands under his chin, watching me flit around the kitchen. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Some parts of the industry felt suffocating and empty—people barking orders, the rehearsed poses and smiles—but there were times when it felt like I was part of something bigger. Like I wasn’t invisible. People saw me, you know?”

His brows knit together. “And that’s enough to make you want to go back?”

“Not exactly,” I admit, pressing forward on the island. “It’s more like… I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wonderingwhat might have happened if I’d just pursued it longer. What if I could’ve made it on my own terms?” I shrug, glancing away. “There’s a big runway show on Friday. Jasper pulled some strings to get me on that stage. I think I want to give it a shot, then I can decide if it’s the right avenue for me.”

A darker look steals his expression. “You want to take a road trip down memory lane with your ex?”

Frowning, I shake my head. “No, it’s not like that. He’s not representing me professionally. And personally, it’s over between us. He’s with Allison, and I’m with—” My words cut short. I blink at him, clear my throat. “The show is local. It’ll only be for the day. And maybe I just want to prove to myself that I’m not running anymore.”

“What about bugs?”

“Bugs?” My nose wrinkles.

“Yeah. The Everly I know is a scientist. She dreams of discovering new species of beetles and butterflies, not rising fashion trends.”

I pause, simmering in the statement.

Thatiswhat I want.

But it feels like a distant memory, overshadowed by the helplessness I experienced in captivity. In that cruel, dark place, smothered by despair, I yearned for the freedom to explore, to make discoveries that mattered. I wanted to help people, to bring light to the world in any way I could.

Now, as I stand here, the weight of my fallen dreams feels heavier than ever. Just another sad reminder of who I used to be.

“I do want that,” I say, steadying my breath as I go back to chopping vegetables. “I want to help people, change lives. But it goes beyond entomology. I want to be a voice for those who can’t speak for themselves. I’m just not sure if it’s too late for that.”

I realize I’m looking for guidance from a person who is just as lost as I am.

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