Page 18 of Irreversible

The flies are gone. Only a jewel-colored bird flits here and there, poking at the corpse that used to be a girl—now no more than a human-shaped pile of ash.

No.

I can’t breathe. Can’t speak. I can only gasp and exhale, over and over until my breath becomes a breeze that reaches the Ash Girl. Her remains lift in a swirling gray cloud, floating to the open window and scattering into the world.

Gone.

She’s gone.

The bluebird watches me from its perch on the edge of my desk.

I open my mouth and scream. I scream until my throat bleeds and my lungs collapse, and when I stop, the bird is gone, too.

Sinking down into the chair, I stay in the dusty ruins of the office. Alone.

Time fades.

An eternity goes by.

I still can’t remember her name.

Then—

“I’m sorry.”

Wait.

What was that? Was that a voice?

“Sara?” The name slips out, little more than gravel rattling in my throat.

With some difficulty, I crack an eye open, no more than a slit. A blurry shape swims in front of me. A rectangle. A door?

I’m awake…I think. But I feel like I’m underwater.

When I try to sit up, a lightning bolt of pain tears me in two. The air whooshes from me and I lose myself in a wave of vertigo. A groan vibrates in my ears. That hurts, too.

Fuck. Me.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

There it is again. Muffled. Covered, maybe?

“Sara.” It’s all I can manage to say.

“No, I?—”

I stop listening. Can’t think of anything but getting to that door. Finding her.

Finding her.

Without giving myself time to think, I roll over until my feet are under me. Ignoring the pain in my chest and the scrapingsound behind me, I stumble toward the door like a rogue wrecking ball. Then?—

A violent snap. My ankle catches, twists. Obliterating agony. “Ah, goddammit! Fuck!”

I hit the floor face first. Hard.

A pathetic moan wheezes out of me as I curl up where I lay.

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