Page 113 of Irreversible

He tried to save me…and Ikilledhim.

I stare blankly at my husband from ten feet away. This is not the reunion I’d dreamed of. No party hats or confetti. Only a slow kiss of death.

Jasper’s face is full of shadows, dark circles rimming jade-green eyes. His skin is sapped of its golden color, looking chalky. He’s lost weight. Jet-black hair, normally slicked back andstyled to perfection, lays haphazardly across his forehead, stray pieces sticking straight up.

He gives the bars another fruitless shake. “Talk to me. Please. Tell me what this is…what happened to you?”

I can’t.

I’m not a storyteller anymore. All my stories have dried up, turning to ashes on my tongue.

He lets out a growl of frustration. “Fuck, Everly! Say something. Please.”

“Where were you?” I demand on a sob, a hot wave of tears brewing behind my eyes. “I…I waited for you. I waited fortwo years.”

Shaking his head, he gazes at me with tortured eyes. “I tried, baby. I tried to find you.” A frown bends, creasing his dark brows. “I looked everywhere. Your case went cold. There…there was nothing more I could do. They said you were dead.”

The tears fall.

All this time, I’ve been in here.

And he’s been out there…living his life without me.

I shouldn’t blame him. It’s not fair. He’s been grieving, too, and one man can only do so much. I was a needle in a haystack. A teardrop in the ocean.

But these feelings are surging through me, ready to combust, and I don’t know what to do with them.

“There was no evidence,” he continues, his voice cracking on the words. “Just me, my blood. The police had no leads, nothing to go on, and I…I didn’t know what else to do.”

I look away and squeeze my eyes shut as more tears leak out.

“Everly, please… What did they mean when they said ahunt? Who was that other man tied to the chair?”

He was everything.

And I let him slip through my fingers like water.

“Isaac,” I croak out. “His name was Isaac.”

Is.

His nameisIsaac. He’s not dead yet.

“Was he…” Jasper pauses. “Your friend?”

I cup a hand over my mouth as my shoulders shake. “Yes.”

“God…I’m sorry. I should have fought harder for answers. I’ll never forgive myself for this.”

I look back over at him when his voice trails off with mourning. Jasper’s forehead falls to the slats, his grip loosening on the bars as he deflates.

Empathy trickles its way inside me. Swiping at my tears, I crawl over to the side of the cage and lift to my knees, facing him. “It’s okay,” I whisper. “I’m sorry. I don’t blame you.” My words quiver. I bite my lip, keeping more cries from spilling out. “It’s okay, Jasper.”

“It’s not. I should have torn the whole goddamn world apart until I found you.”

I rest my temple against the cool bar. “How is Mom? And Allison?”

He lifts his chin, his throat bobbing. “They’re coping. It hasn’t been easy for any of us.” His fingers curl around the metal wire. “There’s been a void. A gaping hole we can’t fill.”

---