Page 11 of Irreversible

No, no, no.

“What’s their proof?”

He opens the pack of cigarettes, slides one into the corner of his mouth, and hands me another. When I don’t take it, he sets it in front of me like an offering.

“They got a lead that suggested he was at the coffeehouse that night. Showed Sommerfield her picture and he confirmed it; said she was number nine.” Apology clouds his face.

Number nine.A confession on a cold case like that is too tidy for the DA to question.

“Fuck.”I close my fists, digging my nails into my palms; anything to distract from this aching pit of darkness in my chest. “He’s lying.”

“Well, he’s a psychopath; it wouldn’t be unheard of. But how do you prove that?”

“They need a body. Where’s her body? Pointing at a picture isn’tproof.”I pin him with a glare that could spontaneously combust. “I want her goddamn body. Where is it?”

“I don’t know what to say, Porter.” He holds his hands out to the sides. “What do you want me to say?”

As much as I want to punch someone, he’s just the messenger. No doubt I’ll get an “official” phone call tomorrow. Tanner did me a favor, warning me first.

No one will convince me that loony toon isn’t sitting behind bars, racking up a tally just to feel important. Serial killers act like they’re competing against each other for the Guinness Book of World Records, and he wouldn’t be the first to make an unsubstantiated claim on a cold case.

But does it really matter, in the end? Either way, she’s gone. And the reality is, I could have stopped it. If I’d been there.

All the air squeezes out of me, like my lungs are in a vise. My extremities go numb. Shock should have set in two years ago, but I’ve been busy. Seems it’s finally caught up with me.

My head sinks into my hands. I can’t breathe. Can’t think.

It’s my fault…

Tanner lets me process like that for God knows how long.

“Are you okay?” There’s a light touch on my shoulder. A flash of red in the corner of my eye. Sequin Girl.

Lucky for her, my reactions are about as fast as molasses right now.

“Not now, Serendipity. I’ve got him.” The urgent clip of Tanner’s warning does the trick, and the hand jerks away like she touched lava.

“She’s new. She didn’t know.” He gives her a look that speaks volumes about the eggshells he’s walking on and turns back to me. “Are you, though?”

Am I?“What?”

“Are you okay?”

“What kind of stupid fucking question is that?” I snatch the lit cigarette from his hand, put it to my lips, and inhale like my life depends on it. With the first hit of nicotine, the shock is dulled.

Slightly.

“It’s a normal question one friend asks another when they’ve heard something upsetting.”

“I don’t have friends.”

“Well, I do. And for reasons no one understands, I’ve chosen you. Deal with it.”

My rage spikes. “Yeah, you’re such agreatfriend. Yet when they wanted me out, you agreed.”

Tanner tried, for a while. But when the shit hit the fan at the department, he agreed that it was time for me to go. Fucking said as much to the chief, right in front of me.

I couldn’t forgive him for that.

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