Page 88 of Irreversible

My heart races with adrenaline, a reminder that I’m still alive.

Still here.

I still matter.

“Roger…” Reaching for him, I try to move on my own but drop backward with a small cry. “I can’t do it. I-I’m hungry.”

Finally, to my heart-rending relief, Roger approaches. I catch him glancing over his shoulder at the camera before he looks back down at me. He doesn’t say anything as he bends over and wraps his thick arms around my torso, heaving me upward, onto my knees.

I cling to him.

I hold him tight, pressing my warm cheek to his chest. “Thank you.”

His big body freezes in my grip as I hug him, feigning care and comfort. He smells like bleach and cigarette smoke, like death and decay. But as my hands trail down his waist in a slow descent, I carefully slip the bracelet into his back pocket and give his butt a squeeze.

Roger tenses on a low moan. Pulls me closer, holds me tighter.

“Mmm,” he groans, a lewd, grotesque sound that coils around my insides like a disease worse than this infection. A meaty paw cups my ass, feeling me up through the thin gown.

Oh, God.

What if he takes this further?

What if he…?

“Hey.” A sudden ruckus unfolds beside me. Isaac starts pounding on the wall, rattling his chain, creating a scene.

A distraction.

My breath is quick and shallow as I try to wiggle free from Roger’s grasp. His fingers tighten on my ass, almost bruising, as he glares at the wall. “Shut the fuck up over there.”

Isaac continues.

Noise, yelling, cursing.

“You’re a spineless fucking prick. Come over here and deal with me, you low-life, tiny-dicked bastard.” He slams his chain against the wall so hard he almost breaks through. “Get the fuck over here so I can put my fist in your ugly fucking face.”

Roger releases me, and I fall back, slumping against the wall.

The room spins.

I watch as he charges toward the door, moving faster than I’ve ever seen him move.

Everything is a blur.

Chaos.

I droop sideways, landing on the cot as my body shakes, my pulse hammers, and my mind vaguely takes in the havoc unleashing beside me. I hear Isaac’s door unlock. Chains jangle. His voice heightens, insults spewing from his mouth like snake venom.

Fists. Punches. Rattling iron. Grunts and groans.

I peer up at the camera, wondering if anyone is watching. If anyone hears what I’m hearing.

Did Isaac overpower him? Is Roger killing him?

Curling into a ball, I try to stay awake. I cling to reality while my body threatens to succumb to darkness.

No…not now. Please, not now.

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