Page 71 of Irreversible

Isaac drags his chain closer to the wall, and I wonder if he senses the defeat bleeding into every broken word.

“Don’t know,” he says, and it’s nothing but honest. “My guess is you’re a giant payday for them. It wouldn’t be their best interest to get rid of you.”

“Lucky me.” I close my eyes when the clouds above me fade into hopeless white panels. “Have you ever made a decision that’s haunted you?”

“Way more than one.”

“I guess we’ve all been there. My decision just came with a death sentence.” Rubbing my lips together, I think back to the gala—my last good night. “Before I was taken, I’d receivednumerous requests to become a surrogate for a couple. My husband wasn’t on board, and I feel like I sealed my fate when I declined.”

“Maybe it’s unrelated.” He pauses, knowing it’s not. “Regardless, there was no way for you to know.”

“It’s funny, though, isn’t it? How one simple choice can alter the course of your entire life?” Sighing, I pan my eyes to the little friendship bracelet circled around my wrist. It hangs loosely at the edge of my palm, too big for my shrinking arm. “I wonder what Joy did to end up here. Desiree. Mitchell. You. One wrong move, one split decision, andpoof…life as we know it is over.”

I’m depressing today.

A mere twenty-four hours have passed since our intimate chat that left me feeling bright and tingly—human. And now I’m dead inside. Empty.

Things change so quickly when trapped between these walls.

My eyes puddle with more tears as I twist my head to face the wall, wishing for laser-beam eyes. A way to see right through it. “I wish I could see you.”

He’s quiet for a few beats. “That wouldn’t do either of us any good.”

“Maybe not. But I’d give anything for just one look.” I’ve spent hours, days, trying to envision him. I don’t think I’ve ever yearned to know what someone looks like quite this much—not even the countless men who came before him.

Not even Joy.

Not even Sara and her songful voice.

I loathe the connection that’s been growing between us, and I want nothing more than to stomp it out like petals crushed beneath a heavy boot. But I can’t. I’ve given it too much life already.

Isaac’s head thumps against the wall, as if he’s leaning back against it. “There’s only one way for that to happen,” he tells me, his voice edged with a hint of emotion. “Find a way out.”

I hate that answer. “I’ll get right on that.”

“Keep looking. Keep thinking. Work your magic on the ogre. He’s got to crack one of these days. I’ve never given a woman flowers, let alone a trove of twisted hand-me-downs.”

“Would you give me flowers?”

“No. We’ve discussed this.” He chuckles lightly. “I’d give you multiple orgasms, a few spankings, and a collection of well-earned bruises, and then I’d send you on your merry way.”

I bite my lip to tamp down the smile. “Swoon.”

“It’s a wonder I’ve been single my whole life.”

A lightness seeps inside, countering the gloom. I start fiddling with the bracelet again, allowing the pastel yarn to soften my hard edges. I roll the beads between my finger and thumb. Graze my fingertips along the worn fabric. I give it a pinch…

And then I freeze.

I blink down at the bracelet, squeezing again.

“Better yet, I’d?—”

“Isaac,” I cut him off, my heartbeats pinwheeling, my cramped stomach doing somersaults. “I think I have something.”

A few tense seconds roll by like a ticking bomb as he processes my words. “What do you mean?”

Swallowing hard, I shoot up into a sitting position and yank the bracelet off my wrist, studying it. Analyzing it. “The bracelet.”

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