Page 244 of Irreversible

It might have also been because I couldn’t keep my hands off her while she was cooking.

Nearby, some wildflowers sway with the breeze. I walk over and pull one—a single, long stem topped with a cluster of purple flowers heavy enough to make it droop. Everly would probably like these.

Wait… What the hell is happening to me?

I drop the flower.

Then I think of her smile, and I pick it back up, along with five more.

Another barrage of chatter erupts from above. The black cat we brought with us has definitely caused a stir among the localwildlife, but his attention is on something much bigger: several horses from the neighboring ranch, grazing casually in our yard, like they don’t give a shit about the concept of boundaries.

Honestly, they were part of what attracted us to the place.

Binkers stares at the enormous animals for a minute, then turns to me and blinks:The fuck is this?

I shrug. “You’ll get used to them, Binks.”

As he saunters past the unhappy tree dwellers, a bright, jewel-blue head pops out of a hollow in the trunk.

She didn’t tell me there were bluebirds.

“Oh, blue dicks.”

I look up at the sound of Everly’s voice. She’s radiant; flushed from the heat of the stove, wiping her hands on her spring dress, her purse draped over one shoulder.

“Uh…what?”Did she say dicks?

She nods at the flowers in my hands, laughing lightly. “That’s actually what they’re called.”

“Ah.” Clearing my throat, I hold the handful out, passing them to her. “Thought they might look nice on the counter, next to your spider.”

She gives me a mock gasp, but the way her smile glows makes my heart beat a little differently. “Isaac Porter, are you giving meflowers?”

“Don’t make a big deal about it.” I chuckle. “It does figure I’d pick something called blue dicks.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, looking up at me through a fringe of eyelashes as she holds them under her nose. “Thank you,” she whispers.

It makes me wonder why I thought giving a woman flowers would be so terrible. I can’t remember now.

She tucks the flowers into the top of her purse, so the heads stick out, and loops a finger through her ring of keys. “I’ve got the chicken and vegetables together, but I got so distracted bythe tarantula, I forgot the pie crust. I’m going to run out really quick. Do you mind stirring the pot on the stove occasionally?”

“Sure, I’ll head inside in a few minutes. Just enjoying the air.”

She hums a satisfied sound, her gaze panning across the field, from the invading horses to the swathe of wildflowers, and over at the birds. The empathy in her eyes tells me she knows what I’m thinking. Her mouth curves up on one side. “She’d love it here, I bet.”

“Yeah.” The word gets stuck in my throat.

It’s something I think about sometimes—what it would be like if my sister were here to see my life now. Because the truth is, if she’d never been taken, I wouldn’t have ended up in that room on the other side of the wall from the woman I share my life with now. I wouldn’t have been able to destroy the vilest evil I’ve personally encountered, with my bare hands and a piece of broken glass.

One action started a domino effect that couldn’t be taken back, and it changed everything. But no matter the good that came out of it, she’s still gone.

I’m not sure I’ll ever say all that out loud. I don’t think I need to.

The male bluebird serenades us, cocking his head at the female as she works on their nest.

Warm arms wrap around me from behind, a soft body pressed to my back. “She’d be proud of you.”

I nod slightly.

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