Page 42 of Catch the Sun

I breathe.

Water spurts out of my mouth with the violence of an angry tempest as I lift up off the dock and roll onto my side, my fingertips clawing the wooden planks, my throat on fire.

I think I almost drowned.

I think I wanted to.

I think I meant to.

Out of all the things to feel right now, I feel embarrassed. Someone is here with me. Someone saw me at my worst rock-bottom moment and plucked me off of the lake’s floor.

Not just someone.

Max.

I slump onto my back as the memory of him watching me drift away in the deep water with a soul-wrenching look in his eyes seeps into my psyche. My lids flutter open as my head pounds and my lungs continue to work overtime. I don’t know what to say.

He’s a blur above me, a glowy haze.

God, I was so stupid…so reckless.

I should thank him. Apologize.

But he bends down before I can choke out words, his lips against my ear. “Hey, Sunny.”

Emotion rushes through me. Tears sting my eyes. I almost died, but I don’t think I actually want to die. Not now, not yet. I’m not ready for such frighteningpermanence. I need to change my life; I need a second chance to be better. Do better. I have to—

“Stay.”

Max hovers over me, sweeping back my dripping wet hair and brushing his thumb against my forehead as my breaths finally begin to placate.

Stay, he says.

Just a single word.

I feel it more than I hear it.

A calming light infiltrates the black cloud swallowing my soul. The roaring in my ears dulls to a peaceful hum until Johnny Mathis is a distant echo once again, reminding me I’m still alive. There are more Christmases to be had.

I fade out, but I’m not gone.

I slip away…

But I’m still here.

***

He carries me the whole way home.

Two miles.

One arm linked underneath my knees, the other cradled around my back, and my sopping orange bookbag dangling off one shoulder.

His breathing is labored, his footsteps heavy as they crunch along rocks and dirt. Cars zoom by. Streetlights glimmer. My eyelids flutter, exhaustion stealing me away.

He’s warm and I’m cold.

He smells like lake water and earth and pine.

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