Page 24 of Catch the Sun

I don’t say anything and duck my head, erasing his smile from my mind because it shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

When I lift my eyes, it’s gone. Perhaps I imagined it.

“Hello, lover!” Brynn! squeals, leaving my side to wrap her arms around McKay. “I didn’t realize you used to know Ella. She’s my new friend.”

How easily the title has been bestowed upon us.

No wariness, no indecision.

Only:“I think you’re cool. Here’s my number. Now we’re friends.”

It’s almost like Max and me when we were bright-eyed first graders, scoping out our future lifelong friendships on the first day of school.

McKay gives me a once-over. His eyes are the hue of midnight against the nighttime backdrop, but I know from catching them in the school hallways that they are only a shade darker than Max’s. Still blue, still piercing, but a little less light. Shaggy dark hair frames his face, landing at his broad shoulders, and while his bone structure is similar to Max’s, McKay has a wider nose and zero trace of dimples. He smiles a lot more than Max, so I’ve noted their absence.

Puckering his lips, he debates his next move. I’m certain he thinks I’m less compelling than his reheated leftovers from last week, but his girlfriend likes me.

A conundrum.

“Yeah, hey,” he opts for, extending a hand. “I remember you.”

“Cool,” is my lame reply. I accept the handshake but my attention pans over to Max, who is glaring at our clasped palms. Clearing my throat, I pull free. “How’s it going?” I ask Max.

“Fine. I didn’t think you’d show,” he replies.

“Me neither. Mom got all emotional over a chicken casserole so the bonfire suddenly became more appealing.” I chuckle awkwardly but no one else does.

My knack for honesty is not at all charming and always misplaced.

“Chicken has that effect on me, too,” Brynn! eventually pipes up. “That’s why I’m a vegan. Did you know eight billion chickens are slaughtered each year by the food industry?” She visibly shudders. “No, thanks. I’ll have no part of that.”

McKay nudges her with his elbow. “Nobody is perfect, baby.”

“Ugh. You’re lucky you’re adorable and well muscled.”

They start making out until kissing sounds mingle with raucous laughter from the bonfire. Max glances at me again, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. I watch as he teeters on the heels of his worn-out sneakers, looking like he’s about to say something. Curiosity dances in his eyes, swirling with intensity. I’m not sure why he’s always looking at me like that, like he wants to know more, wants to learn more, wants to dig deeper than what I offer on the surface. Most people see right through me, but I’m pretty sure he just…seesme.

I’m not sure how I feel about that.

McKay interrupts, drawing back from Brynn!’s watermelon kisses and swiping at the balm left behind. “Max, help me grab the coolers from the truck. I need a beer,” he says.

Max blinks, tearing his attention from me with a hint of irritation. “Yeah, fine.” With a drawn-out sigh, he sifts through his pockets and pulls out a pack of cigarettes before shoving the box back in. He follows McKay up the hill made of sand and dying grass, sneaking a final glance at me over his shoulder, then disappearing over the peak.

Brynn! trails behind them, her skips eager, hair bouncing. “Be right back!” she calls out to me.

I nod, tugging the sleeves of my hoodie down over my palms. “I’ll be here,” I whisper to the night. Lake water ripples and laps beneath the starlight, a pictureof tranquility. It looks so peaceful, so unburdened. Envy spools and coils in my chest because…

I want that. I want that more than anything.

Peace.

Just one peaceful moment. Lots of people get thousands of peaceful moments and all I want is one.

Just. One.

As I exhale deeply, my hand instinctively slides into my back pocket, wrapping around a polished white stone. It’s the same one Max tossed at me earlier today—the one that brought back memories of the small stone he handed me just before my father drove me over two hundred miles away, leaving him behind on a sunny playground, expecting to see me the next day.

I give it a squeeze before looking back out over the water as the moon offers a glimmer of contentment to the graphite sky.

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