Page 166 of Catch the Sun

I press forward as I rock, my breasts smashing against his chiseled torso. I move faster, glancing down between us and watching as he slides in and out of me, up and down. When I lift up, almost all the way, the sight of him wet with my desire sends shivers down my spine. My pulse is on fire, my blood pumping hot.

I slam back down and he trembles in my arms, his breathing escalating.

As I rise again, our foreheads clank together and we both watch as my movements pick up speed and he thrusts up off the bench, chasing me.

My neck arches back and I ride him hard. Fast. Frenzied and reckless, so close I can feel the electric swell.

“Fuck, Ella…fuck, keep going,” he pants, latching onto my hip bones, his fingers bruising as he rocks into me. “Feel how much I want you. Need you. God, you’re perfect.” His mouth hangs open, his eyebrows tightly knitted, as he stares down at our joining, our bodies slapping together while rain slaps at the earth all around us. “I’m gonna come in you,” he groans. “Fuck, I’m close.”

His words fuel me, set me aflame.

One of his hands falls between us and he rubs me with his thumb, taking me with him.

“Oh God,” I whimper, head falling back, damp hair swinging. I feel it climbing, clawing, cresting. “Max…”

“Feel me, Ella,” he rasps, forehead dropping to my chest. “Let it go. Let it all go.”

I grind into him, and when he sucks my nipple into his mouth again, I break. I shatter into infinite pieces and land among the stars. Lightning streaks across my vision as white-hot ecstasy carries me away and then brings me right back home.

I collapse against him, boneless and thunderstruck, as Max grips my hips hard and rams into me two more times before tensing, shuddering, and letting out a feral groan with his face smashed between my breasts. I feel him empty inside me, releasing. Releasing everything.

Breathing heavily, he stays pressed against me as he comes back down. His hands slide up and down my back, one of them twirling my wet hair while we both process the last five minutes.

We lost our virginity.

He gave himself to me, and I gave myself to him, in the exact same spot we handed each other our hearts over a decade ago.

He’s still inside of me as his head slowly lifts and his lips sprinkle kisses to the breadth of my chest, all the way up to my collarbone. I cradle his face between both hands, grazing his stubble, before angling his face up to mine.

We stare at each other for a few tangled heartbeats before I lean down to kiss him. Softly, gently. I don’t think it’s a goodbye, but as our tongues flick and our lips move, it almost feels like one. Emotion catches in my throat and I kiss him harder, hanging on to whatever we have left.

When I pull back, tears are in his eyes. Shining, gleaming, reflecting everything I’m feeling.

My lips quiver as I press a kiss to his forehead then rest my head on his shoulder. “Where do we go from here?” I whisper hoarsely. My lips brush the side of his neck as I wait.

And I wait.

Max squeezes me tighter, still sheathed inside me.

Then, on a frayed inhale, he croaks out three words that bring me to tears.

“I don’t know.”

***

An hour later, Brynn drives me over to the local pharmacy. I purchase the morning-after pill and chug it down with a bottle of Gatorade in one of the empty aisles with colorful boxes of cereal as my witnesses.

Brynn finds me a few minutes later, one palm clutching an eye-shadow palette. She approaches me with a smile and slides a loving hand up and down my arm. Sighing, she drops her temple to my shoulder. “Are you okay?” she asks.

I cap the Gatorade and try to catch my breath as I stare blankly at a boxof Cap’n Crunch. Blinking slowly, I glance down at my muddy shoes andstill-damp leggings, closing my eyes and holding in my grief. Then I whisper back, echoing Max’s words, “I don’t know.”

Chapter 41

Ella

A scorching-hot June shifts into an even hotter July, and my mother finally tells me that Grandma Shirley passed away in the weeks prior.

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Brynn asks, zooming by me in a streak of pink and baby blue as she hunts down her sandals. “I can reschedule with Kai. It’s just a picnic.”

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