Page 164 of Catch the Sun

I whirl around.

As we stare at each other, my bitterness heightens. Not at him but at life. At life’s cruelgift. “How can you even look at me?” I wonder breathlessly. “How are we standing here talking about love and innocence and hope after everything that just happened?”

His expression falls as he repeats, more brokenly, “What other choice do we have?”

“There’s always a choice, Max. Always.”

He steps forward, body taut with tension. “You’re right. McKay made a choice when he tried to force himself between your legs. He made a choice when he let you fall off a fucking cliff and when he walked away without calling for help, leaving you for dead.” Anger and resentment flicker in his eyes. “Jonah made a choice when he stormed through my front door with a gun and shot my brother in the chest. He made a choice when he took justice into his own hands—justice foryou. Every choice is a ripple. Every choice has a domino effect,” he bites out. “And now,wehave a choice. You and me. What’s it going to be, Ella? How are you going to alter our next chapter? Where are you taking us?”

I gawk at him with wide, glazed eyes and swing my head back and forth. “I… It’s not just up to me. What doyouwant?”

“I want to kiss you. That’s what I want.”

His words freeze me. My heart kicks up speed as the rain sprinkles down, dampening my hair. “That won’t fix anything.”

He shrugs. “Maybe not. But it’s what I want.”

“I don’t think you know what you want. It’s impossible to think clearly right now. I think…I think we need a break,” I croak. “You were right when you said you needed space. Everything is too cloudy, murky. Messy.”

“So, we clean up the mess.”

“It’s not that simple.”

Letting out a hard breath, he glances down at the wet leaves and clenches his fists. “Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yeah. Fine. If that’s what you want, we’ll take a break.”

“It’s not about what I want. It’s about what we need.”

“Sounds like we need different things,” he says. “I had space and I missedyou like fucking crazy. No, scratch that—I had space for the last seven months when you left me stranded all alone in love with you and didn’t tell me why. Fuck space. It’s not what I wantorneed. All I need is you.” He slams a flat palm over his heart. “You’re the only thing that will repair this goddamn hole in my heart.”

“I’m not the answer. I’m not—”

“You’remyanswer, Sunny.”

“My brother killed your brother!” I shout, voice pitching over a roll of thunder.

He swallows hard, eyes flaring. “And we’re not either of them. You’re Ella and I’m Max. Why can’t that be enough?”

“It’s not. It can’t be,” I yell back. “McKay is dead because of Jonah.”

“McKay did something unforgivable to you.”

“He didn’t deserve to die!”

“And neither do I!”

My face crumples as the rain splashes across my hair and cheeks. “Max…”

His chest heaves, body trembling, eyes darkening along with the sky. He scrubs both hands over his face and hair, shaking his head as he slams the heels of his palms to his eyes. “Fuck…sorry. You’re right.” Max stands there for a beat in the same position, only, his headshake morphing into a nod of acceptance. “You’re right. Take all the time you need.”

When he swivels away from me, I panic. My chest implodes with regret. I open my mouth to call him back, but nothing comes out.

So I race after him, grab him by the arm, and spin him around.

He stares down at me.

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