Page 161 of Catch the Sun

“I think I’ll take a nap now,” he says, nodding as he glances out the window. “Wake me up before your brother’s game, will you? I want to be there.”

My eyelids flutter closed as I stand. “Sure, Dad. I’ll wake you in an hour.”

“That’s great, Son.” He slips underneath the covers and curls his legs to his chest. “Thank you.”

I stare at him for a beat before heading outside and collapsing on the front stoop.

School let out last week.

High school is over, and I graduated with solid grades and a glittering diploma.

And it means absolutely nothing because I’ve already lost everything.

Two black boots appear in my periphery and I glance up, my gaze landing on Chevy. He stands beside me, two beers in hand, his golden hair fluttering in the summer breeze.

“Hey,” I manage.

He takes a seat beside me on the stoop and hands me a beer.

I shake my head.

When he offers me a cigarette instead, I falter briefly before snatching one from the box. “Thanks.” I bring the rolled paper to my lips and watch as he lights the opposite end, cupping a hand around the flame. “I mean that, by the way,” I add. “Thank you…for everything.”

Chevy pockets the lighter with a nod. “No need to thank me. Neighbors help each other out.”

“You’re more than a neighbor. Always have been.”

“Well, you’re welcome, then.” He sends me a partial smile before glancing out across the street. “Some of my fondest memories are of you two kids playing out in the front yard, tossing footballs, running through sprinklers. Reminded me of my own childhood back in Oregon. I have a brother, too. Not a twin—he’s two years younger than me—but he’s my better half. Mybest friend.”

I can’t imagine Chevy having a better half. He’s already the best. “Are you still close?”

His eyes dim. “Not close enough,” he says, cracking open the beer I rejected and taking a long pull. “He’s in a cemetery near Cannon Beach.”

“Fuck,” I mutter, dropping my chin to my chest. “Sorry to hear.”

“Leukemia. It was a late-stage diagnosis and he never stood a chance. He passed away three months after we got the news. Fourteen years old.” Chevy sets his beer on his knee and looks back at me. “Anyway, if you ever need an outlet, let me know. I have a ton of shit lying around that you’re welcome to break.”

A smile slips as I blow a smoky breath out through my nose. “I might take you up on that.”

Nodding, he studies me, the mood shifting again. “I don’t know what it’s like to lose someone in such a violent way…but loss is loss. Absence is absence. You can’t fill it and you can’t shake it. All you can do is accept that it’s always going to follow you around like a shadow, and you do what you can to live with it,” he tells me. “You fill your life with other things. Hobbies, people, dreams. I keep busy because I have to…house flipping, auto restoration, a bunch of random shit. I have a thousand projects going on at once because that’s the only way the shadow takes a back seat and lets me appreciate what I still have. It becomes a silhouette.” Chevy takes another swig of beer, then dangles the bottle between his knees. “I’ll never lie and say it’s easy. I’ll never pretend like it doesn’t suck your soul straight out of you sometimes…but I will tell you that it’s still possible to find the light. The loss is permanent, but the darkness isn’t.”

My eyes fill with stinging tears as I stare across the street at Ella’s house.

I think of her.

I think of McKay.

I think of myself submerged in Tellico Lake, staring at both of them as they floated across from me, our eyes locked together while sunlight poured down on the surface above.

Green eyes. Blue eyes.

Hopelessness and yearning.

Time stopped and sound faded as we held our breath and counted down the seconds.

Little did we know, the real drowning would come after we pulled ourselves out of the water.

Chevy presses his hand to my shoulder and gives it a squeeze, severing my bleak thoughts. “She’s your light, Max. Trust me on that,” he says with conviction, tipping his head toward Ella’s property. “Don’t let it get away.”

---