Page 158 of Catch the Sun

“I know,” I say.

“And Max…I can’t even imagine how he’s processing all this.” Tears track down her cheeks as she stabs her mashed potatoes with a fork.

I saw Max at the funeral.

Well, it was more of a memorial, per se. McKay’s body hasn’t been released from evidence yet, so the actual funeral is to be determined. The thought alone has my insides curling and shriveling.

Max was emotionless.

Numb.

His father was a wreck, sobbing through the entire ceremony.

The sun felt extra warm and bright that day, which made everything so much worse. I ran over to Max before he left, winding my fingers around his elbow and stopping his retreat. Pain skated across his face when our eyes met.I wondered if he saw Jonah when he looked at me, just like I saw McKay when I looked at him. I couldn’t fault him for that.

I still can’t.

“Max…please,” I pleaded in a raspy whisper, unable to let go of his elbow. “I’m so sorry. So unbelievably sorry.”

He glanced at the contact, swallowed, then looked back at me. “Not your fault,” he said, tone even. It was like the pain had rendered him passionless. “I’m sorry, too.”

“Maybe we can spend some time together,” I tried. “To talk.”

“Yeah…one day,” he replied. “Not today.”

I nodded through the tears. “I understand.”

Max didn’t move away as we held eye contact, my grip on his arm tightening. He looked down at the grass for a beat before lifting only his eyes to me. “Ella…I know you’re a victim, too. Brynn told me what happened at the bluffs. What my brother did to you.” His eyes finally shimmered with crystalline sadness as his voice broke. “I’m trying…to process everything. I’m struggling…”

“I know,” I choked out. “I know.”

“I just need some space. Time. I want to talk to you, I do, but I don’t even have the words…”

I let go of his elbow, inched up, and threw my arms around his neck. “I know, Max. I’m sorry for everything. I should have told you the truth.”

“I get why you didn’t,” he breathed into my hair.

“Please don’t hate me.”

“I could never hate you.”

We held each other until people trickled from the outdoor ceremony in black dresses, black suits, with handkerchiefs pressed to their noses.

Max pulled back first, unraveling my arms from around his neck, a choking sound escaping his throat. “I should go,” he whispered. “But…I have something for you.”

I blinked, sniffled, and swiped at my tears.

Then I watched as he stuffed his hand in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled note.

“I wrote this for you the morning of…” His voice trailed off, his tearstains glinting in the sun. “I wrote this for you.”

I reached for the note, nodding as my heart pounded and my chest squeezed. “Thank you.”

With one last tortured look, he glanced down at his feet, then stalked off, meeting his father in the parking lot.

I stared at their truck as it pulled away and disappeared down the street, the note shaking in my fist. Heaving in a breath, I opened it and skimmed over the familiar handwriting.

How to Catch the Sun

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