Page 187 of Catch the Sun

One of those quotes never left me.

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

It’s a quote from the poem “Little Gidding” by T. S. Eliot. I carried it with me because I believed in it with every tarnished piece of my heart. Those words kept me going. They allowed the rusted pieces to keep functioning, to keep moving, to keep beating with fine-tuned rhythm.

The end is where we start from.

Once there’s an end, you can never go back to the beginning, and that feels permanent. People latch on to the finality of that and overlook the deeper meaning, the hope that resides inside.

No, you can’t go back to the beginning…

But you can always create a new one.

You can take those ruptured pieces lying at your feet and glue them back together, knowing you’ll never shape them into what they once were, but believing you can create something even better.

That’s where healing lies.

That’s where overcoming happens.

My new beginning is ten acres, a renovated house, and a little white horse sleeping in the stables. I’ve been weaving together my fresh start for over a year now and it’s only missing one thing. And even if that one thing walks the other way in the end, I’ve still found my way to the other side. There’s been peace in the process. Renewal in the undertaking.

Comfort in the belief that Ella will live out her dream, even if that dream doesn’t include me.

Brynn hops up and down, her pigtails bouncing as she stares at me through the phone screen. “I almost gave it away yesterday when I brought up Ella’sinterview that she never told me about.” Her nose wrinkles. “I’m terrible at keeping secrets.”

“You did good,” I assure her, glancing out the window. “Thank you both. For everything.”

Fun fact: Brynn is terrible at keeping secrets.

She told me where Ella was living a week after Ella took up residence on Natine’s horse ranch.

But there was no secret in how we still felt about each other, despite everything that happened. Brynn still talked to Ella regularly and told me there wasn’t a single conversation where Ella didn’t bring up my name, ask how I was doing, or have tears shining in her eyes when she spoke about me.

I was confident our story wasn’t over.

And that confidence only gained wings last night when she let me hold her until dawn’s light spilled in through the window of her RV.

Brynn is still squealing with anticipation as she bounces next to Kai. “You have to fill us in immediately!”

I heave in a deep, calming breath as I stalk toward the main window. “I will. I’m not sure how she’s going to feel about any of this.”

“The same way she feels about you,” she says assuredly. “I know my best friend, Max. She’s still head over heels for you.”

“Enough to lay new roots on a little horse farm I named after her?” I internally cringe at the image of her laughing in my face and running in the other direction. “This might be next-level madness.”

“Next-level love always comes with a little next-level madness.” Brynn and Kai share a soft look. “Okay, go get your girl. We’ll be waiting!”

I blow out that breath. “All right. Thanks again.”

“Any time,” Kai says before disconnecting the video call.

I hesitate before slipping the phone in my pocket.

An orange RV rolls down the long, gravel driveway and comes to a stop halfway in. I watch through cracked curtains as Ella hops out of the driver’s side, dressed in a deep-orange, off-the-shoulder sweater and black leggings, her coppery-dark hair swinging all around her. Sunlight glints off her light skin and nervous smile when she peers out at the golden acreage, her eyes bright withpromise and hope.

She’s hoping for a new job.

I’m offering her a whole new life.

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