Page 172 of Catch the Sun

I let my tears fall down my cheeks and shower her hair. “I understand, Sunny Girl. I do.” I choke out the words, pulling back and pressing my lips to her forehead as my heart shrivels up between my ribs. “I know this is what you need,” I tell her with soul-crushing defeat. “I just needed to catch you one last time.”

Her face crumbles, her cheeks flushed and soaking wet, her whole body shaking uncontrollably. “I’m sorry, Max. I’m so sorry. I just… It’s too much. I need time…time t-to heal…”

I pull her back to me, stroking her hair. “Fuck,” I murmur against her temple, squeezing her tighter. “I know.”

I know. I fucking know.

It hurts so goddamn much, but I know it’s right. Iknowit’s what she needs, and I’ll never stand in the way of her chasing her peace.

Her light.

Even if that light isn’t me.

“Change your number,” I force out, every word a dagger to my insides. “I’m begging you. Change your number and delete mine, because I swear I will reach out to you in my weak moments.”

She nods, sobbing hopelessly against me.

“Don’t let anyone tell me where you are. Make them promise you. I’ll come for you, Ella. I swear to God I’ll come for you and I’ll never let you go.”

“Okay,” she cries. “Okay.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you,” she whispers raggedly. “I love you, Max.”

It’s the first time she’s said the words aloud.

And she says them on a goodbye.

Every piece of me withers and decays like a dried-out rose under a hot sun. I deteriorate, petals falling as they’re carried away with the wind. “Go,” I manage, pulling back and gulping down a strained breath. “Go, Sunny.”

“Max.” She holds me tighter, kissing my throat, my cheek, my hair.

“Please,” I beg. “Go live a good life, Ella. The best life. Meet new people, learn to skip stones, watch every sunrise and every sunset. Find a bridge and toss sticks into streams. Dance. Dance, no matter who’s watching. Read as many books as you can, make lists, drink Dr Pepper, and ride horses until you can’t catch your breath.” I cup her face between my hands and place a final kiss on her lips. “And think of me. Bring me with you to all of those things,” I plead, the pain eating me alive. “Don’t let me go, Sunny. Don’t ever let us go.”

Nodding through her tears, she grips my shoulders, her emerald gaze shimmering with new adventures, new daydreams, a new chance at life. “I won’t,” she whispers back, giving me one last squeeze. “I’ll never let you go. And maybe…” Ella swipes at her eyes, staring into mine. “Maybe I’ll find you again one day. Maybe…we’ll find each other.”

Hope bleeds into her words.

Hope that someday, maybe, our timing will be right. Fate will bring her back to me, just like it did ten years after I first laid eyes on her smiling, beautiful face.

“Yeah,” I murmur. “Maybe one day.” I move away and take a step back, scrubbing my hands over my cheeks and jaw. Then I heave in a tattered breath and voice my final farewell. “Go live, Sunny Girl.”

Hesitantly, slowly, she retreats, walking backward toward the RV, still nodding like she’s reminding herself that this is right. And with one last poignant look, she spins around and dashes away, her red-brown hair swinging behind her.

Before she hops inside, I call out to her. “Ella.”

She turns. Our eyes lock.

“Thank you.”

I tap my front pocket, the check she left for me weighing heavily inside.

Her final gift.

A second chance for me, too. For me and my father.

She blinks away more tears and stretches a sad, knowing smile. “You’re welcome.”

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