Page 146 of Catch the Sun

Choke me.

I pull up on my elbow, leaning over her, thunderstruck. “How?”

“Contamination of DNA evidence. Jury tampering. That’s the short version.”

“Are you safe?” It’s the first thing on my mind. The only thing on my mind.

She turns, her own frown staring back at me. Hesitating, she nods slowly, carefully. “Of course I am. Why would you think otherwise?”

“Because he murdered two people, Ella.”

“No, he didn’t. I just told you that the charges were thrown out. He’s innocent.”

“They proved that?”

Her breathing is unsteady as she sits up straight, putting more space between us on the bed. “They couldn’t prove anything either way.”

“So, he’s not necessarily innocent. He’s just free.”

“He’s not guilty.”

My heartbeats are in a tizzy, the cold prickle of fear seeping into my bones. “Ella…you thought he was guilty. You told me yourself. What changed? Was there new evidence discovered? Was the real killer captured?”

Tears light up her eyes as she scrambles to put her clothes back on. “I was wrong, okay? Jonah would never hurt me. You don’t even know him,” she says. “It’s hard enough living with the notion that I ever doubted him in the first place. I don’t need you adding to it.”

“You can’t blame me for worrying. He was on death row for a brutal double homicide and now he’s been released on a technicality. That fucking terrifies me.” I try to reach for her but she swats me away, yanking her tank top over her head. “Sunny.”

“You should go now. It’s almost morning.”

“Ella…please.” My voice breaks on the word. “I love you.”

I didn’t mean to say that.

Fuck.

I’ve meant to say that all along.

Silence follows, my confession dangling between heartbreak and healing. It teeters on the edge of putting us back together and tearing us apart for good.

Ella stares straight ahead, her eyes wide and glazed. Breath caught, hands trembling as she fists the bedcovers. When she finally inhales, a small cry falls out. She dips her chin and shakes her head back and forth. “Don’t,” she says huskily.

Her response pulverizes me. Emotion snags in my throat as I move in, reaching for her. “I mean it. I should’ve said it months ago.”

“Stop. Please.”

“I won’t stop. I won’t stop loving you because you’re scared. I’m scared, too.” I take her hand but she rips it free. “I’m absolutely petrified that you’re falling away from me, while I’m falling more and more in love with you. Every day. Every minute.”

She covers her face with both hands, her shoulders shaking. “You don’t love me,” she says, the words muffled. “We’re too young.”

“You say that like it’s insignificant,” I shoot back, trying to hold it together. Trying to hold us together at the same time. “Jesus, Ella, young love is thepurest fucking kind. I think I’ve loved you since the day I first saw you on that playground ten years ago.”

“That’s ridiculous. We were only kids.”

“Doesn’t matter. You smiled at me and I knew I was going to marry you one day.”

“Stop!” she shouts, loud enough to startle me. We stare at each other, tears streaming down both of our faces. “Don’t you get it, Max?God…” She forces out a laugh that sounds unhinged. “I may have been wrong about Jonah, but I was right about love. Love blinds you. That’s its toxic trait. It blinds your soul.”

I clench my jaw, hating her words. Hating her bleak, miserable stance on love. Onmylove. “Souls don’t see, Sunny. Souls feel. They feel, and they yearn, and theyknow.” Swallowing, I move in closer, refusing to give up on this. Refusing to give up on her. “I’d feel you in any lifetime, in any version of any reality. And I’d know, without a doubt, without a shred of hesitation…that your soul was meant for mine.”

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