Page 57 of Lotus

I just fucking do.

“It’s calming,” Oliver agrees, his voice barely audible as it catches on a slight draft that travels over to me. Then he stands, slipping both hands into his pockets and meeting my penitent gaze through the starry night.

“What did it feel like to you?”

“Like every star in the galaxy tumbled to Earth and crawled beneath my skin.”

I gulp. “Goodnight, Oliver.”

“Goodnight, Syd.”

He smiles again, knowing but warm, and turns to head inside.

I do the same.

Tossing my purse to the floor and kicking off my ridiculous heels, I let out the breath I feel like I’ve been holding in all night.

I didn’t do anything wrong. Oliver wasn’t mad.

Everything is fine. It’s just the alcohol emotions rearing their ugly head.

Satisfied with my assessment, I head upstairs and begin peeling off my clothes, leaving a trail of leather and cheap perfume behind me. When I step into my bedroom, Alexis is sleeping soundly at the edge of my mattress. The image tickles my heart.

And as I squint my eyes through the dim lighting, trying to get a better look, that tickle grows into a heady palpitation when I spot her curled up beside the wilting lotus flower.

F O U R T E E N

“ICALLED HER ‘BABYGIRL’.”

Gabe and I are fighting over chips and guac at our favorite hole-in-the-wall Mexican place, and I swat his hand away when he tries to reach for the extra scoop-y chip—the kind heknowsI prefer. My eyes lift to him across the burnt orange tabletop as I gather an obscene amount of guacamole on my tortilla chip. “Who? What?”

He strokes the light stubble along his chin, distracted, staring just beyond my shoulder.

“Hi,” I chirp, waving the chip under his nose. When he meets my gaze, I smile. “Welcome back.”

“Shit, sorry. Just thinking.”

“New girl?” I wonder, taking a bite.

“Clem,” he clarifies. “I’ve been wracking my brain, trying to figure out what triggered her to leave so suddenly, and that’s the only thing that comes to mind. I called herbabygirl, and she just kind of froze, then bolted.”

Eyebrows dipping to my nose, I process his words, slowing down my chews. “That’s weird.”

“Yeah, it is. But it’s the only thing I can think of.”

“Maybe she thought you had a Daddy-kink and panicked.”

“I don’t have a Daddy-kink.”

I throw my hands up, palms facing him. “I’m not one to kink-shame. Just an observation.”

“Dude.” Gabe’s gaze is irritated as he glares at me. “I don’t have a Daddy-kink. It just came out in the heat of the moment. I don’t fucking know.”

The truth is, I don’t know either. Clem has never been forthcoming with her sex life in regard to Nate, and I know she hasn’t had much experience beyond her ex-husband.

“I’m stumped.” I pop another chip into my mouth and lean back against the booth, studying my friend as he appears to zone out again. “Maybe just give her some time. She’s still adjusting to the divorce and doing the single mom thing. You probably got ahead of yourselves.”

“Yeah.” Gabe says it with little believability before shaking his head, sighing, and diving back into the chip basket. “Anyway, it’s for the best. I mean, can you see me being a pseudo-dad to Poppy? That would have been a shit-show waiting to happen.”

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